PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD — Faced with a 22,000-gallon jet fuel spill at Joint Base Andrews, Maryland Democrats sprang into their emergency response protocol: issue a stern letter, blame Trump, and hope nobody asks who has been running the state for decades, sources have confirmed.
“This outrage has Trump’s fingerprints all over it,” fumed Sen. Chris Van Hollen, gesturing at a map that somehow only highlighted red states.
“These pipes were fine for 47 years under our flawless oversight. Clearly, MAGA gravity yanked the fuel directly into Piscataway Creek.”
Gov. Wes Moore, busy cutting the ribbon on Maryland’s 47th taxpayer-funded bike lane to nowhere, said he could not comment because he was “fighting investigations into Maryland storm drains.”
“Our infrastructure is perfect,” Moore insisted.
“We’ve just been too busy raising taxes and misplacing billions to notice collapsing bridges, broken pipes, derailing trains, or reality.”
Rep. Jamie Raskin added that Trump’s failure to magically seal the leak with a tweet was “an assault on democracy, science, and my feelings.”
Trump officials reportedly fixed the leak in under four hours using something radical called “maintenance,” then mailed Democrats a cleanup bill, a box of red hats, and a note reading, “You’re welcome, professional letter-writers.”
As of press time, Maryland Democrats were drafting their 87th letter blaming Trump for the heat death of the universe while their own crumbling roads laughed in the background.
MORONS
All the Maryland Democrats who agreed with the Jet Fuel death of Trump may burn in hell. Be careful of what you wish for.
Maybe all of the Democrats in Maryland from Wes Moore o. Down should actually do something to make more liveable first.
Ratskin’s mouth should be sealed for all of untruths.
These Demo Rats are a bunch of brain dead idiots
When I lived in MD I was appalled at the imbeciles in government. I am an independent and despised Jamie Raskin lies. I also had little faith in the voters who returned the tax and spend politicians to office.
we demand that ALL dembocraps eat shit and die if they care about citizens instead of illegals criminals
Isn’t everything Trump’s fault?
Democratic thinking is destroying our great nation!