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Home Entertainment

McAvoy Laughs Off Punch With a Pint, Assailant Leaves With Participation Trophy

Joe King by Joe King
September 11, 2025
in Entertainment
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Actor James McAvoy was reportedly sucker-punched at a Toronto bar during the film festival, though the “Split” star barely noticed, sources have confirmed.

Witnesses say McAvoy initially believed he had been bitten by a mosquito or possibly a “barfly,” brushing it off with the same calm demeanor that progressives now insist is “toxic masculinity.”



Instead of collapsing into victimhood, the actor reportedly ordered another drink, summoned his inner “Beast” from Glass, and carried on as if nothing had happened.

His alleged assailant, meanwhile, was later heard whimpering that his fist hurt.

Rather than facing charges, the man was quickly comforted by fellow “light fisted” folks who stroked his ego, whispering, “It’s not your fault… you meant to hit him harder,” before offering him a fight participation trophy as emotional support.

Critics in the new “woke” Hollywood blasted McAvoy for “failing to amplify his trauma” on social media.

One blue-haired festival attendee insisted, “If you don’t make a 12-part Instagram story about your pain, did it even happen?”

As of press time, McAvoy was said to be thriving, reportedly considering starring in his own self-help film titled Punch? What Punch?

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Comments 1

  1. GSM says:
    6 months ago

    Another
    Wah ! Article

    Reply

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