Michelle Obama shocked precisely zero Americans this week after dramatically announcing she would “never ever” run for political office — a revelation as surprising as water being wet, sources have confirmed.
The former First Lady delivered her proclamation with the emotional intensity of someone dropping out of a race she was never in, prompting millions across the country to respond with a collective:
“Who cares?”
Political strategists say it’s the first recorded instance of a non-candidate holding a press-style declaration to emphasize something nobody had questioned.
Commentators compared the tone to a TikTok “How Many Likes Can This Get?” stunt disguised as civic clarity.
Republicans nationwide immediately reassured her they would “never ever” vote for her anyway — even if she suddenly changed her mind.
Her progressive supporters quickly lashed out, shouting:
“You Republicans are mean! You don’t know what you’re missing!”
GOP voters calmly replied,“If you say so — and yes, we do know. That’s why we said we’d NEVER EVER vote for her.”
Analysts are now divided on whether Michelle’s proclamation was political messaging, attention-seeking performance, or simply a dramatic reminder that she still has a Netflix contract.
As of press time… Michelle was preparing a second announcement clarifying she also “never ever” planned to run for anything else — insisting the public “deserved to know,” while most continued insisting they never asked.
Michelle Obama is one of the most competent, one of the most brightest and strong women I know..When asked about her way to handle difficult people, Ms Obama said a classy thing and was quoted as saying “When they go low, we go high.” I wish more people who hold a political office or represent the American people thought and spoke like non-candidate Michelle Obama when running high levels of government. CIVIL servants like Ms Obama would get a lot done, unlike DT and his band of incompetents. In fact Webster Dictionary created a special word for people currently in power – Kleptocracy -to describe the political elite running our country today. Now we we are being led by the most incompetent 30 plus felon, 2x impeached current president in modern history. Abraham Lincoln must be rolling over in his grave. I am rolling up my bamboo toilet paper to wipe my s*** stained underwear because their is so much excrement coming out of the US Capitol. But there is hope for us. Democracy is in grave peril, but it is not dead. Fascists depend on convincing us. Fascists try to give our power away and have us fall in line, that the fight is over and we lost. And while we must be clear-eyed about the threat, we must not do the fascists’ work for them by giving them powers they do not have. Trump wants to govern as a dictator, but he has the slimmest possible congressional majority and a grossly unpopular agenda. Winning an election with 49.9% of the vote (of those who voted) does not make him a Dictator for Life and does not make Project 2025 the law of the land. You rock Michelle Obama, you truly rock!! I can’t wait for more Americans to think like you do. We would be a great nation, indeed.
You need to start taking your Prozac again….REAL SOON.
Oh pleeze! She I the least qualified for any office. She would be just like aoc, crockett, waters, always whining and blaming others. She and boorak need to go back to chicago and fade away into the cesspool they came from and created.
“ Michelle Obama is one of the most competent, one of the most brightest and strong women I know…”
You know Michelle Obama ? That explains everything !
I suggest you get to know more/other women.
You again. You seriously need to take your drugs. maybe a little more than usual. Wait, after reading your whole line of communist socialist marxist bullsit, take all of your drugs and go to sleep.you are fucked up.
Big Mike always rocks in the homosexual places. America doesn’t need a person that can’t tell what gender they are. If that one fundamental fact IN your pants is denied . Well ! We had a rapist and murderer put into office by the same kind of people like you. Now your kind says one thing and spews another. Obama and Big Mike are the worst thing that ever happened to America. Both are delusional about their genders. And both being men . Says they never had children. And Obama has never been a legal American.
It shows your decision making
is beyond flawed. No one can be as dumb as what you are trying to spread. At least one with at least one brain cell left .
I suspect you are a foreign entity trying to to destroy the gullible among us. Just like Big Mike . You are definitely not believed or liked.
Remember you claim to love God . You had better read what he says about you and Big Mike
Michael Obama aka Michelle is a walking I hate America Billboard. She’s a disgraceful First man lady ever to bring shame to our country it’s all about the money to her and she’s going to get as much as her greedy hands can grab. She has no respect for this country or the American people they are all below her. She and her husband should go back to Kenya and play king and queen there but they don’t want them either. These two are the most corrupted people ever along with the Biden’s family ever to sit in the White House. Eventually they will be in prison for all their corruption as it all comes out. Traitors and Treasonous Democrats are going to play the ultimate price for destroying our country. To them it’s all about the power and money period.
You are right. Lincoln would be turning over in his grave. Women in power…no way. Also, people with pink hair…no way. Men slicing off their private parts because they don’t like it…no way. The whole country paying for criminals who broke the law to get into the USA…no way. Should I go on?
100% on the mark. I think mostly all of our founding fathers are turning in their graves
His pants suits don’t fit anymore.
Hmm, so i was right, AC did fall and bang her head!! Maybe a visit to the doc could reshape the mush in there!!!!
Waste of time
Waste of time and energy
Sadly, DT is now going on television, trying to blame everybody else, including Joe Biden, and the Dems, when it was his order to send National Guard troops into Washington DC and a women getting shot and killed by a senseless lunatic, and all DT can do is talk about his ratings. God help us. Jesus, please help us. Abraham Lincoln, please help us. We are lost and cannot find our way… lost on America. Thank you to mom or dad who sacrificed their daughter for this careless act of our POTUS, who cannot take ownership for his failing leadership. An ant could do better, anything or someone other than DT could do better, even Mike John could do better, and that is pretty low bar if you are a liberated dem like me. But I remain hopeful because you all need to start reading you daily Skrape or Fox propaganda to get news. This is not real news, this simply is hate filled speech wrapped in sarcasm. Sarcasm defined is the ripping and tearing of flesh, we need more love in the world … that is what will bring us together… ☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️
“ Shot and killed by a senseless lunatic…”
Correct, not by Donald Trump !
These {[Political Progressives] & failures} now blame Trump, they have no backbone to admit when they are wrong! Trump has been correct more than wrong, he has to clean up the {Political —-S H I T—-Hole} the {Democrats and RINO’s} have created to destroy this great nation!
Trump must restore and go forward in full power in order to correct the misdirection this nation was headed!👹👀😵💫😵😱|😎🗝✝️🙏🏼🇺🇸
One Obama as president destroyed this country enough for decades a lying Muslim who could talk really smooth with a very sharp knife in his back pocket. They did nothing but divide America in every way possible they started all this alphabet letters gay movement that just started more violence just because he was a gay president. Sick off all the Obama’s just go back to Kenya now.
THE ONLY THING MIKE OBUMMER DOES IS COMPLAIN..SAYING HE WON’T RUN FOR PRESIDENT IS JUST ASKING FOR YOU TO BEG HIM TO RUN..THE OBUMMERS HAVE DONE ENOUGH TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY.. THEY USED STUPID BIDEN AND RAN THE COUNTRY..DEMOCRAPS ARE TERRORISTS..TRAITORS..THEY WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO OMPLETELY DESTROY AMERICA AND EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.. THEY WANT TO RULE OVER OUR COUNTRY..PRESIDENT TRUMP AND HIS FABULOUS TEAM ARE WORKING 24/7/365 TO FIX WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO OUR COUNTRY ALL THE WHILE FIGHTING DEMOCRAPS TRYING TO STOP HIM FROM SUCCEEDING..PRESIDENT TRUMP IS TRYING TO GET CRIME UNDER CONTROL AND DEMOCRAPS DON’T WANT THAT..HENCE THAT’S WHY THEY CONTINUE TO SPEW HATE, LIES AND CALL FOR MORE AND MORE VIOLENCE..THE DC MURDERS AND THE ATTEMPTED MURDERS ARE FROM ALL THE HATE SPEWING !!! WE NEED TO DEPORT THE TERRORIST DE MOCRAPS ALONG WITH THE CRIMINAL ILLEGALS AND ALL THE OTHERS WE WILL START DEPORTING !