Nantucket’s sewage system is still riding high nearly a year after the Biden family’s Thanksgiving getaway, sources have confirmed.
Investigators now believe the sky-high cocaine levels aren’t from yacht-party millionaires alone, but more likely from Hunter Biden’s infamous “holiday flush.”
Locals recall frantic plumbing calls during the visit, when Hunter reportedly dumped not just his stash but a suspicious collection of USB drives, a laptop charger, and what one plumber swears was “a half-finished watercolor of a raccoon smoking a cigar.”
Experts say the readings are so extreme that the sewage itself may legally qualify as a controlled substance.
“At this point,” one researcher said, “the water is basically woke—it’s jittery, paranoid, and keeps asking if you’ve read Hunter’s memoir.”
Residents have reported bizarre side effects too: normally quiet locals talking so fast they sound like they’re stuttering, neighbors pacing their lawns at 3 a.m. like they’re waiting for DoorDash, and seagulls brawling in the town fountain over territory.
One bird was even heard squawking, “This is the clean stuff!”
Meanwhile, progressives argue Hunter was simply expressing himself with last year’s flush, claiming he wanted to share his “visions through experience.”
As of press time, Nantucket officials were considering bottling the wastewater as “Biden Family Reserve”—a limited edition vintage rumored to keep hunter one of the WOKEST.
Why do the Lefties contaminate everything – at the same time they claim they are protecting the environment!?!
What this man represents ! Hum ! Even Clorox can’t clean . I am amazed ! As to why this thing is still free. He is the #1 example of how a society lets his kind get by with breaking laws that no one can ! Ask why . There’s nothing special about coming from Bidens perverted loins . That made him unique. It’s his real father he obeys. Like the rest of America And the world . Who obey their same father ! Being There are millions of us. And Americans have been so dumbed down. They forget we are the Government Not those who sit in DC or the pathetic excuse called judges.
The money they steal for themselves and give to the rest of the world and the millions of illegals among us . Is ours ! Not theirs. They are not our rulers. We own them. And its time we as a nation of Americans not of illegals do more than open our eyes to their agendas .
Wake up Americans before this kind of evil among us thinks they can wipe us out . Which we have set here and let them inject vile deadly viruses into our Bodies and rained more upon us The very existence if this man and his kind tells us the Urgency of how Much time is left For what. Our DEATHS