Labor Day weekend turned sour for beachgoers as health officials warned of dangerous fecal contamination along U.S. coastlines. But the loudest complaints didn’t come from families with kids or fishermen—they came from woke activists who don’t actually “labor,” yet insist they’re entitled to a beach day.
One paid protester told reporters, “I don’t work a traditional job, but I work on myself, and that’s way harder. Honestly, I deserve the beach more than any of those blue collar workers do.”
Another activist whined on their social media post: “This bacteria is obviously Republican. It’s oppressive, it’s mean, and it’s literally gaslighting me. How am I supposed to spiritually recharge if conservative feces keeps blocking my chakras?”
Progressive influencers claimed the contaminated waves were part of a right-wing plot to suppress TikTok dances. One gender-studies major said, “The ocean is supposed to be a safe space. Now it’s basically MAGA water.”
Republicans laughed off the hysteria. “Look, poo is poo. It doesn’t care if you’re vegan, gluten-free, or identify as non-binary seaweed,” said one farmer. “Stay out of the water before it sends you running to the port-a-john.”
As of press time, activists were planning a march against Mother Nature for her “systemic oppression,” but canceled after realizing the beach sand was “too scratchy.”
So, these blue ‘holler’ workers deserve more than the rest of us? Then tell Soros you want a raise !!!
excellent, but I would rather all the paid rioters fall themselves out to the ocean and keep going.
———————-Attention Americans ———————-Here is the reason America is being destroyed . Spoken out of the mouth of the lazy dumbed among . Americans have become a nation of people who are only entitled.
Paid protesters are the enemies within America .
These are fools being led . To destroy their own country by attacking and killing other Americans . Ask why our beaches are contaminated?
Why ? Because protesters are worse than homeless people . Remember those in Seattle and Portland . Over 90% of those protesters were professors . Remover the guy who slammed 5 pound chain and lock on peoples heads. Well he is as a professor After Putting Over 5 people into hospitals with head injuries . Got off with a slap Because he didn’t know it would do damage .The fully naked female sitting in the middle of the street with her legs opened wide enough for a truck to drive through . Those two beautiful places will never be places to visit again As they have claimed those areas as theirs. Unless our people stop being used We are going to war !
Arrest the “blue holler woke folk” and sentence them to 1 year of public service for vagrancy.
Give each of them trash bags and deposit them along the public highways picking
up trash and whatever else drivers throw out of their cars.
PS: Arrest drivers who get caught littering and give them the same sentence,
I just can’t believe joe Biden and his cronies screwd up the United States so bad in four years. Any other president couldn’t have done it in 20 put them all in Gitmo and throw away the key.