Democrats have announced they will not back down in the next budget showdown unless Republicans give them exactly what they want, sources have confirmed.

According to Rep. Ro Khanna, defense spending is “outdated” and America should instead “prepare our military with hugs, drum circles, and possibly taxpayer-funded cuddle puddles”.

In their new “People’s Budget,” Democrats propose slashing Pentagon funding to zero and diverting the money to crucial programs like a Netflix takeover, where every citizen will be required to watch documentaries about the “dangers of not being woke”.

Meanwhile, local communities will receive “community scissors” — a federally funded initiative designed to help neighbors cut grass together by hand , and cut down American flags which leftists argue are offensive because the word United is oppressive and promotes unrealistic expectations of togetherness.

Khanna emphasized that Democrats will hold firm this time, warning Republicans that without lawn mower bans and a ban on patriotic bunting, the country risks sliding into fascism.

“We don’t need missiles, we need safe spaces,” he said, before proposing a $3 billion grant for yoga mats in every high school gym.

As of press time, Schumer was seen practicing his synchronized hugging routine in front of the Capitol, insisting it was “the only defense strategy America needs.”