Golf legend Phil Mickelson reportedly sent Sacramento into panic mode this week after accusing California Democrats of raising taxes on everyone to quietly paper over billions lost to welfare fraud, sources have confirmed.
According to Mickelson, Newsom and the progressive leadership have settled on a simple strategy: ignore the fraud, raise taxes, and hope no one does math.
“No amount of tax can help California until the fraud problem gets fixed,” Mickelson allegedly said, immediately committing what Democrats described as “spreadsheet violence.”
State officials reportedly bristled at the accusation, insisting fraud is not the issue, but rather a “misunderstood revenue redistribution event.”
One aide allegedly explained that stopping fraud would be far too disruptive, whereas raising taxes is familiar, comforting, and reliably painful for the middle class.
Mickelson further suggested that each new tax increase isn’t funding schools or roads, but quietly refilling accounts drained by fraud, theft, and programs no one can explain.
Democrats responded by accusing him of hating California’s unique culture of not checking receipts.
Governor Newsom dismissed the criticism entirely, reportedly assuring voters that if taxes keep going up, eventually the fraud will blend in.
As of press time, California announced another tax hike to combat the rising cost of pretending nothing is wrong.














Love the quote, “misunderstood revenue redistribution event.” genius and made me smile. Although this is your satire, you probably just gave the Libs and the “fake news” MSM their new talking points.
This has happened, Because they have a total MORON as Govenor. Which it appears the majority of CITIZENS VOTED FOR, Maybe you need verified Citizen Voter IT’S in California.
Sounds like Phil might move back to Arizona !
I laughed when I read the poster saying that a total moron had been elected. The moron is the majority of people that voted for him. The vast majority and quite frankly, if you voted democrat in California, I have absolutely no fucking simply for you. You got what you wanted and you’re living with it now. Congratulations democracy has spoken.