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Home U.S. News

Santa Claus Settles In For 11 Months of Unemployment

Joe King by Joe King
December 28, 2024
in U.S. News
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Santa Claus Settles In For 11 Months of Unemployment
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With Christmas having recently come and gone, sources at the North Pole confirm that Santa Claus has settled in for his annual 11 months of unemployment and general lack of activity. 

“Ah shit, I love this part,” said Claus, sinking into the couch with a bowl of pretzels and searching the backlog of recordings on his DVR. “Time to turn off my phone and mainline the entire NBA, NFL, and College Football seasons. Everyone leave me alone for a while unless it’s to bring me a beer or something to eat.” 



The yearly furlough, while expected, has reportedly begun to grow on Mrs. Claus’ nerves. 

“I get that he works hard in December,” she said, slaving over the evening’s dinner for her, Santa, and 74 elves. “I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve a break, but 11 months? I don’t get a break! These elves don’t get breaks! That’s enough. I’m taking matters into my own hands.” 

As of press time, Mrs. Claus had brought Santa a cup of cocoa she’d made extra special for him. 

Tags: ChristmasSanta ClausUnemployment
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Comments 1

  1. CPO Bill says:
    6 months ago

    He needs the next 11 months to get all the toys ready for next year.

    Reply

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