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Home Politics

Schumer and Jeffries Demand Trillion-Dollar Safe Space Closet Fund, Already Have Closets

Joe King by Joe King
September 24, 2025
in Politics
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Safe Spaces
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President Donald Trump rejected Democrats’ budget proposal yesterday, after discovering it was written in crayon and stapled to a cafeteria menu, sources have confirmed.

The so-called “serious demands” included free island retreats for federal bureaucrats, emotional support llamas in every agency, and a trillion-dollar “Safe Spaces Fund” where Democrat leaders could lease their own office closets for recovery time after a “rough day.”



Schumer insisted the request was not absurd, declaring, “It’s not ridiculous, we need safe spaces — and those aren’t free.”

It was confirmed each congressional office already contains a closet.

Trump, reviewing the proposal, reportedly had a chuckle before posting on Truth Social:

“I’ve seen more serious budgets from lemonade stands.”

Republicans called the plan unserious, while staffers noted Jeffries had even decorated his “budget packet” with a “Do Not Judge Me” sticker.

As of press time, Schumer and Jeffries were still in the hallway outside Trump’s office, waiting for their trillion-dollar closet allowance while interns reminded them that the government shutdown deadline was, in fact, real.

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Comments 2

  1. Karen Triesch says:
    2 days ago

    They are a joke-but not a very funny one. Whatever happened to jntegrity?

    Reply
  2. GSM says:
    2 days ago

    My sarcasm is better than this !
    The little room has a comfortable chair That has electricity and a needle for their shot of pain killer.
    Only those that are elite can sit here.
    Since these two prefer their social space This one is definitely qualified for their treason activities
    I really hope they are included in the special people that get to use that special space Hopefully Ahab and Jezebel will join them

    Reply

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