Reports flooded news stations early this morning after a mysterious Secret Santa allegedly visited Capitol Hill overnight, leaving small, harmless gifts for members of Congress and triggering what witnesses described as “unsettling levels of happiness” among Democrats sources have confirmed
Staffers arriving before dawn reported seeing lawmakers from the left smiling, laughing, and engaging in unscripted human interaction.
Several were observed holding Starbucks gift cards and restaurant vouchers, staring at them in confusion as if unsure whether accepting joy violated party guidelines.
Cable news producers reportedly delayed morning programming while anchors tried to determine whether the smiles were authentic or a previously undiscovered form of disinformation.
One aide claimed a senior Democrat attempted to apologize for laughing before realizing it felt “weirdly nice.”
Republicans on Capitol Hill described the scene as surreal.
One GOP lawmaker, asked to comment, referenced Dr. Seuss, saying it appeared some hearts had grown three sizes overnight, though he cautioned the condition was likely temporary.
The gifts themselves were notably nonpolitical, further confusing recipients.
There were no slogans, no lectures, and no calls to action, just coffee, food, and momentary peace.
Medical experts warned the joy could wear off once lawmakers checked their phones or turned on cable news.
As of press time, aides were monitoring the situation closely to see how long the Christmas spirit would last before normal programming resumed.
Maybe after the Left experiences a little joy, they will finally open their eyes and ears… and heart. – and figure out what they are missing.
Merry Christmas to all.