WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Majority Leader John Thune announced today that Democrats’ “shutdown obsession” has officially reached clinical levels, sources have confirmed.
In response, the entire Democratic caucus was herded into a makeshift group therapy circle on the Senate floor, moderated by Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz with an opening monologue from Kid Rock.
According to attendees, Senator Schumer broke down first, clutching a therapy puppet shaped like Karl Marx and screaming, “My father never let me raise taxes!”
Meanwhile, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez demanded her “safe space juice boxes,” insisting they be made with organic oat milk and sprinkled with Marxist glitter.
Hakeem Jeffries refused to participate until Republicans provided a “shutdown trauma playlist,” reportedly featuring Coldplay and whale sounds.
Republicans, determined to keep the government open, calmly watched from the gallery, sold popcorn and limited-edition Trump bobbleheads, with profits earmarked for therapy costs to save the taxpayers.
Dr. Oz eventually declared the session a failure, saying the patient “flatlined at socialism,” while Dr. Phil recommended “an extended stay at Camp Trump.”
As of press time, Democrats were seen storming out of therapy, finally demanding a shutdown extension to “process their feelings.”
These Dems need to grow up and realize we the people can vote them out of office. This is real world life going on out here ans they are not account for anything but towing the party line. No independent thoughts, all speak in unison, same exact things. This isn’t theatrical! Get with the program and actually do the job you were elected to do!
Exactly 💯
Schumer is going to get his ass kicked again and democrats are really in big trouble again if they don’t sign the budget deal. They are losing their support from the people because they are doing nothing but fighting everything that’s making America stronger everyday and they can’t take any credit for anything. They stick out as the party against the American people and the people are fed up with all their b.s. and lies. There corruption is over whelming and they can’t hide it anymore. How is it every democrat became a multimillionaire on a government salary in a couple of years Biden and democrats stole our taxpayers money and sent it to foreign countries and overseas to bogus companies and contractors and laundered our money so democrats could get kickbacks. democrats start explaining how you got so rich when most of you were almost bankrupt before you got a government job. It’s all going to be exposed really soon and a lot of you are going to prison.
Sorry folks But during Trumps first term they did shut down the government
It lasted 32 days Remember the crying and whining by the government employees that were on hold? That would receive their salaries when it reopened. California raised money to keep them up ? Go back and look that all up. You get laid off you don’t get any money. And you have no recourse.
The truth is . We would not have had the government employees that are still leeches and agencies that have stolen millions from us If Trump had done what the law and rules allowed. After 32 days he had the authority to fire alol their lady. Bums . And not one would have been able to sue. I hope this time He gets rid of those who think their jobs are for life
It’s time those who are paid by the people lived off of the same useless health ins and no pensions for elected positions And the money you leave with is not ours