President Donald Trump announced yesterday that the “Golden Dome,” a $175 billion missile defense system, will be deployed to protect McDonald’s iconic Golden Arches nationwide, following recent threats from “radical vegan terrorists,” sources have confirmed.
Speaking at a White House presser, Trump declared, “The Golden Dome will save our burgers—tremendous security, folks!”
The system, inspired by Reagan’s Strategic Defense Initiative, uses satellites and space-based interceptors to thwart attacks on McDonald’s, which Trump called “America’s heart,” citing its role in his 2024 campaign fryer stunt.
Conservatives on X cheered, with one user quipping, “McDonald’s is safer than Biden’s border!”
Trump, who expects the system operational by 2028, appointed Gen. Michael Guetlein to lead the project, per recent reports.
Liberals mocked the plan as “absurd,” with AOC tweeting, “Defending fries over people?”
Undeterred, Trump claimed the Golden Dome, funded partly by a $27 billion GOP defense package, will “make fast food great again.”
As of press time, Trump was designing a “Golden Dome Happy Meal” toy shaped like a tiny missile interceptor.
Trump’s “Golden Dome Happy Meal” toy shaped like a tiny missile interceptor ?
I guess it’s to protect we the people’s happy meals from being attacked by AOC’s
toy shaped like a tiny missile ?!
Some of you have no sense of humor – sad!!
AOC’s toy shaped like a tiny missile ?…
That’s funny as hell !!! 👍🤣🥃