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Home U.S. News

Musk Shelves Party, Builds Rockets Fueled by Socialist Dreams and Protest Signs

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
August 20, 2025
in U.S. News
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Elon Musk has reportedly paused his highly rumored political party in order to focus on what he calls “a cosmic act of charity” — launching America’s woke elite on a one-way ticket to anywhere but here, sources have confirmed.

The initiative, officially titled the Woke Boarding Program, will provide free seats to activists, celebrities, and anyone convinced that hugs and feelings are a valid form of currency.



VIP accommodations are reserved for the hosts of daytime talk shows, each seat padded with glittery pillows and fitted with coffee mugs that reassure, “You’re Always Right.”

Onboard meals will include shared tofu sandwiches, kale chips, and a mandatory in-flight seminar titled How to Make the Wealthy Pay Our Rent, hosted by a hologram of Bernie Sanders.

Rocket propulsion will come from recycled socialist dreams, composted protest signs, and the faint hope someone else is picking up the tab.

Engineers estimate a cruising speed somewhere between a public WiFi download and a Geo Metro climbing a mountain pass.

Trump has already pledged to attend the first launch, lawn chair in tow, promising “the best send-off in history.”

As of press time, Musk was reportedly approached by CNN executives demanding faster travel times, prompting him to begin drafting blueprints for an orbit-capable catapult.

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Comments 2

  1. Gregor Brewski says:
    2 days ago

    And I would be glad to host a GONE AWAY party for them!

    Reply
  2. GSM says:
    2 days ago

    First people to go . Should be democrats. As they will die off ! Because they are all Dementia nursing home people. And the young ones hate each other so much that no union would take place. Being their main goal is killing the unborn . Their community would die off .
    Then send all of the ones who cut off their genitalia. Insuring a definite no city .
    Then send all the LBGTQ whatever’s. Insuring there will never be a community in the outer limits
    The insane are running loose

    Reply

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