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Home Politics

Biden Makes It Through Entire Press Conference Without Soiling Himself

Joe King by Joe King
July 12, 2024
in Politics
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Biden Makes It Through Entire Press Conference Without Soiling Himself
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Democrats are praising Joe Biden’s performance during yesterday’s press conference, applauding the 81-year-old President for making it through the whole thing without accidentally urinating or defecating in his pants, sources confirm. 

“What a great performance,” said MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough. “The way that Biden kept his bowels under control while mumbling weird answers and staring off into space should be enough to convince voters that he’s the guy for the job come April. A masterful performance by a brilliant politician.” 



While praised by many in the media, swing voters were apparently less impressed with Biden’s accident-free performance. 

“Yeah, I think most of us didn’t shit our pants last night,” said undecided voter Carl Manning. “That hardly seems like impressive grounds to nominate someone to become the commander-in-chief. Remember when we used to talk about which guy we wanted to have a beer with? What happened to that?”

As of press time, George Clooney published a scathing op-ed in the New York Times alleging that Joe Biden pees his pants all the time.

Tags: Bidendemocratselection
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Comments 10

  1. terry says:
    1 year ago

    The person who wrote the article needs to change their Kotex.

    Reply
    • Dave S. says:
      1 year ago

      Did he hurt your feelings, Princess?

      Reply
  2. THEODORE CARBONE says:
    1 year ago

    Jill gave a standup applause for joe saying she is sooo proud of joe for not shittin his draws tonight.

    Reply
  3. Jerry DuPree says:
    1 year ago

    This is really something the President of the United States and the Democratic party should be real proud of, He did not piss or crap in his pants.

    Reply
  4. Idalia Doubek says:
    1 year ago

    I can’t believe how hateful the media is towards our current president, Biden. Yes he is old, so what, I respect him and he served our country well. Yes, he should retire and leave the mess up to someone else, but he feels the need to keep our country out of the hands of a lunatic’s hands. Just think Joe Scarborough of MSNBC you to will reach that age where you will be incontinent of your bladder and bowel’s.

    Reply
    • Mark Gill says:
      1 year ago

      Idalia, you’re an IDIOT!

      Reply
    • David E Wiechecki says:
      1 year ago

      Age is not the issue, Biden’s senility, dementia, lack of comprehension is the issue.
      Not sure of his issue, since his handler’s are hiding it from the public.
      I am sure we all now people his age or older, who are still clear thinking and sharp.
      So please stop referring to the “age” issue. It is not about “age”, it is about mental abilities.

      Reply
  5. MaryAnn Kenniger says:
    1 year ago

    How do you know he didn’t?

    Reply
  6. Mimi says:
    1 year ago

    Too bad he can’t go out gracefully like a respected gentleman. He’s brought enough shame and horror to America. Heaven help everyone if he should be elected. The biggest mistake ever. I’m praying for the idiots that would ever think to vote for him. They need almost as much help as he does.

    Reply
  7. Vincent Gee says:
    1 year ago

    Maybe he should gracefully relinquish his job to Vice President Trump. Oops, I mean Harris.

    Reply

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