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After Mocking Trump’s Renovations, Mamdani Requests Taxpayer-Funded Bidets, Massage Beds, And Emotional Recovery Wing

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
January 17, 2026
in U.S. News
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New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani reportedly submitted a budget request for taxpayer-funded luxury bidets, heated marble floors, massage beds, and what aides described as a “small emotional recovery wing” inside Gracie Mansion after years of condemning President Donald Trump’s privately funded renovations, sources have confirmed

The proposal reportedly labeled the upgrades as “basic socialist necessities,” explaining that modern leadership cannot be expected to govern effectively while using “outdated, paper-based hygiene systems.”



Democrats immediately clarified that this was fundamentally different from Trump’s White House renovations because those were “about ego,” while these are “about equity, wellness, and leadership dignity.”

AOC praised the plan on Bluesky, declaring toilet paper “a relic of capitalist cruelty” and calling the bidet initiative “hygienically inspirational.”

Bernie Sanders later announced plans for a detailed explainer outlining why bidets represent democratic progress, while ballrooms remain symbols of authoritarian excess.

When asked whether the mayor was suggesting all Americans should have bidets in their homes, a Mamdani aide explained, “Right now we’re focused on making sure leadership has its necessities before expanding the conversation to everyone else.”

City officials confirmed the request also included funding for stress-relief furniture to help officials recover from the burden of managing other people’s money.

As of press time, Mamdani was reportedly refusing to use the Charmin provided by mansion staff, insisting the bears “dramatically oversold the softness.”

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Comments 8

  1. MajJohn says:
    4 weeks ago

    I’m all in as long as we have socially diverse therapists who respect my dignity.

    Reply
  2. Mark says:
    4 weeks ago

    New Yorker’s you are getting what you deserve!!!
    When or should I say IF ever are your eyes going to be open to see what you voted for??
    Socialism is not or ever will be for the people, there’s no such thing as a free lunch someone has to pay !
    And the MAYOR of your cesspool of a city will be living it up big all on your dime all the while you’re going to be living in poverty. So I say to you enjoy yourselves living like second rate peasants!!!!!!

    Reply
  3. Pia says:
    4 weeks ago

    This proves Mamdani can’t even wipe his own ass.

    Reply
    • Joseph Mazzo says:
      4 weeks ago

      That is why he got married. His wife can wipe his ass or give him a diaper

      Reply
    • H C Juengst says:
      3 weeks ago

      You forget that Muslims use the left hand, not having had paper in centuries. The bidet will make washing hands unnecessary.

      Reply
  4. Re says:
    4 weeks ago

    This is an Absolutely disgrace for this human is New York City Mayor…The people who voted for him are all IDIOTS !!! It is very upsetting to see this in America 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 God bless America land of the free and home of the Brave

    Reply
  5. Richard Timothy Duhl says:
    4 weeks ago

    Mamdummy is laughing all the way to the bank. How can you feel bad for people that have been told over and over ” be careful what you ask for”. The quicker you file your recall the sooner the embarrassment for your stupidity will subside. Won’t be forgotten! It will never be forgotten. Idiots!!!!!!!

    Reply
  6. Sue says:
    4 weeks ago

    Tell him to ride on his camel if he need emotional support in Central Park.
    You voted for this dumbass Muslim what did expect every free is for him not you.
    The government is now going to be flooded with his Muslim friends and family.
    You picked the wrong jackass now live with it and break out your wallets.
    Don’t even think about moving down south because we don’t want dumbass like you destroying our beautiful states. You made your bed now sleep in it and pray you die while sleeping.

    Reply

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