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Democrats Accuse Right Angles Of Voter Suppression After Virginia Map Gets Tossed

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
May 8, 2026
in Politics
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RICHMOND, VA — In the most predictable meltdown since Hillary lost to a tweet, Virginia Democrats are reportedly suing basic geometry after the state Supreme Court torpedoed their plan to redraw the 2026 midterms into a 10-1 Democrat victory parade, sources have confirmed.

Citing “systemic mathematical oppression” and “racist right angles,” party officials are preparing legal action against triangles, squares, circles, and the offensive concept of compact districts.



Their rejected map looked less like congressional boundaries and more like Salvador Dalí’s fever dream after three espresso martinis and a DNC strategy meeting, with districts so twisted they could wrap around the Potomac twice while somehow disappearing four Republican seats.

Had the plan worked, Virginia would have been left with one GOP congressman standing, still somehow winning despite Democrats drawing his district inside a Cracker Barrel parking lot.

“Fair maps are for losers and Trump voters,” sobbed Gov. Abigail Spanberger while clutching a dog-eared Constitution she appeared to believe was merely a decorative prop.

Legal experts confirmed the Democrat map violated so many state rules it made California’s districts look like they were drawn with a ruler by sober adults.

Undeterred, Democrats vowed to fight on by issuing press releases, importing more blue voters from D.C. suburbs, and gerrymandering reality itself until every Republican district looks like a crime scene chalk outline.

As of press time, Democrats had filed an emergency injunction against the number 11 for being too Republican.

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Comments 7

  1. Charles Evering says:
    3 days ago

    If one follows the short lived ILLEGAL gerrymander designed by Abigail Spanberger and her crew of merry Fraudsters. Oh yes it is not lost on any of us what is going on with the Democrat Leader of the Virginia Senate. One also does not over look the supposed Affordability issues from Gov. SPANBERGER AND HER CREW OF merry TAX writers. You know taxes on the GYM, taxes on the Weed Eater, Taxes on your home Deliviers, TAXEs on your Streaming Service, TAXES ON TAXES and yet it is going to make it more affordable for all of us. OH YEA, OH YEA.

    Reply
    • Philip Baker says:
      3 days ago

      All the proposed Virginia taxes??? It’s SCAMberger’s attempt to make Virginia just like New York, California, Massachusetts and Illinois.

      Reply
  2. Tuna says:
    3 days ago

    The Virginia Democrat cadre knew from the start that this initiative was on VA Constitutional “thin ice” yet they proceeded with it anyway. Just because a slim majority of Virginia voters voted for approval doesn’t change a thing. The yes vote was based more on politics rather than an understanding of the nuances of the Virginia Constitution.
    The VA Dems have shot themselves in the foot. They’ve energized VA GOP voters and now maybe two or three Congressional Districts that might have leaned Democrat, are no longer that way. The usual Democrat hypocrisy is on full display in their responses to the Court ruling. When a Court upholds their radical agenda or rules against the GOP, they’re “Democracy Heroes;” but if they lose a ruling, the Court is MAGA radicals or illegitimate.

    Reply
  3. Jim Schmitt says:
    3 days ago

    “SPAM” Berger is a deceiver and liar to the people selling herself as a moderate! This should be a wake up call to all that if you are unwilling to research candidates, then stay home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  4. M S says:
    3 days ago

    The Dem and Dem voter are a crazy bunch

    Reply
  5. Pedge12 says:
    3 days ago

    The Dems are holding their own “whine and cheese” complaint time since it didn’t go their way. Oh well!! Boo Hoo!! So typical for them!!!

    Reply
  6. Tom says:
    3 days ago

    Spanberger was one of the new types hired by the CIA during the 1990s under Bill Clinton’s massive downsizing and then restocking of the Intel community with new progressive left followers. This is the same crowd that failed to defend the countrry from numerous terrorist attacks and then sought to undermine President Trump in his first term, the same CIA that was led by John Brennan who lied through his teeth about the whole Trump-Russia collusion hoax. She fit right in and was trained well by the left. So lying about her intentions if elected Governor should have come as no surprise to anyone. She is a blindly ambitious political type who is doing everything she can to buy the support of the hard left which she sees as necessary to realize her political ambitions, which is to eventually be elected president.

    Reply

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