Experts Back Trump’s Bail Crackdown as Democrats Panic “Bail is EVIL”

Democrats were sent into a panic after President Trump’s crackdown on cashless bail threatened their funding pipelines, sources have confirmed.

Blue-state officials reportedly clutched their tote bags in horror, warning that withholding money from their voters “just because they committed a crime, is evil.”

Progressive leaders immediately called emergency press conferences, surrounded by inmates, demanding “hardship gift cards” for criminals who might now be forced to spend more than twelve hours behind bars.

One activist insisted the cards should be redeemable at Starbucks, Apple stores, and a one time use “get out of jail free”.

Experts rushed to back Trump’s move, with one analyst calling it “the most brilliant use of the purse strings since George Washington refused to tip the British.”

Another declared, “If this doesn’t work, the only other option is personally grounding Democratic governors and taking away their screen time.”

Meanwhile, law-abiding residents cheered the crackdown, pointing out that cashless bail had turned their neighborhoods into live-action episodes of Grand Theft Auto.

The change, they said, might finally slow down the revolving door between jail cells and city streets.

As of press time, Democratic officials were still drafting a lawsuit against Trump, though insiders admit they’ll likely bill the filing fees to taxpayers.