Senator John Fetterman stunned Washington this week after admitting Democrats prolonged the government shutdown as a “national emotional healing sabbatical,” sources have confirmed.
According to insiders, the plan—codenamed “Operation Safe Space”—was crafted to “help progressives process their grief from losing every argument to math.”
Fetterman reportedly broke rank while chatting with a group of Republican staffers at a diner, confessing that “the left needed a timeout to find its common sense and maybe its polling numbers.”
When asked about Obamacare, Fetterman compared it to a payday loan “with better branding and worse results.”
“Low rates in the beginning,” he said, “then BAM—your deductible costs more than your mortgage.”
Economists later confirmed that, mathematically speaking, Obamacare now charges higher interest than most organized crime syndicates.
Republicans thanked Fetterman for his honesty but ultimately agreed the shutdown had little to do with governance — and everything to do with Schumer’s hurt feelings, donor money, and a party that’s forgotten they’re in public service.
Meanwhile, panicked Democrats gathered in emergency Zoom calls to develop new “Blame Trump” talking points, only to realize they were muted for 45 minutes.
One staffer was overheard whispering, ‘If Trump hadn’t existed, we’d have to invent him just to blame him.’
As of press time, Progressive lawmakers were seen telling Fetterman to “take it back, its Trumps fault”, Fetterman shook his head and walked away.
This is what us Americans say. We, the citizens of America needs a ‘national 12 month healing sabbatical’ away from all of the Democrats. Just tell them to stay away and stay home. They are not wanted or needed. And they will not be receiving any back pay at all. They will be defunded for 12 months and maybe longer.
This is supposed to be satire, not reality.
The reality is the satire,Democrats are a joke
Stop referring to the Democrat party as “Democratic” party. If ever there was a misnomer, that’s most assuredly it. Nothing “democratic” about them. More accurate might be “Autocratic”. Or perhaps “Despotic”. Even their party symbol is most indicative of their obnoxious attitude towards all opposition, i.e. the jackass a.k.a. mule headed party.
I used to think he was a retard, but he’s proven that he can rationalize things and uses his common sense, so my opinion has changed. He seem’s to be more of a independent which is probably what America needs today, rather than extreme right or left.
Fetterman seems to be the only democrat with any common sense. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him leave the Democratic Party sooner or later. God help us if a democrat gets elected president. This is not the democratic party anymore.
Fetterman beeds to lose those hoodies.
Showing Fetterman in a coat and tie is pretty far from reality!! Otherwise, great article!