Former Vice President Kamala Harris has spent the past month frantically defending the contents of her memoir — a book critics say is 300 pages of excuses explaining why nothing in her political career, personal life, or internet connection has ever been her fault, sources have confirmed.
Rather than letting the book fade into history like most vice-presidential memoirs, Harris has been touring the nation insisting she is a “historic figure” and reminding crowds — repeatedly — that Congress must build a marble bust of her.
“I’m important,” she reportedly tells audiences.
“Very important. Historically important. Marble important.”
In her ongoing defense of the book, Harris has blamed former President Joe Biden for “sidelining” her, Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro for “asking too many questions.”
She publicly blamed Gov. Tim Walz for “stealing her spotlight with his recent scandal and being greedy with her share”
One insider said the book “contains more blame than a teenager’s group chat after the Wi-Fi goes out,” adding that Harris’s favorite chapter is reportedly titled Why Everyone Else Is Wrong and I’m the Victim.
Her book tour crowds consist mostly of people who show up to watch the spectacle — what one attendee called “the political version of a slow-motion bumper car crash.”
Early reviewers have praised the memoir as “excellent comedy” and “a cheaper alternative to store-bought fire starter.”
As of press time, Harris was practicing her acceptance pose for the alleged future marble bust while workshopping excuses for her next interview, including blaming Congress, solar flares, and “a general lack of appreciation for my historic brilliance.”
What do we expect from a lifelong DEA hire with ZERO qualifications on her own? She was and is three words, among others: a dumb shit.
I’ll give her 4:
Bright as a Brick
As on cue, this sniveling demoncrat once again proves she and the rest of the DEMONcrat party have nothing to offer. They all whine, lie, and are toxic to America’s environment. Why can’t the obamasses, clunktons, brandons/bidens even the bushes slink back into the ooze and watch America become great again!
If brains were dynamite, Harris couldn’t blow her nose.
To dear Kamala: Frankly, my dear, no one gives a damn.
Useless idiot! Kackles McKneepads needs to slink back under the rock she crawled out from.
Harris is a joke and an idiot; we are so lucky she did not get back to the WH. How are idiots like these even allowed to be elected? We need some way to weed them out before they even are allowed on the ballot.
Oh she is historic !
If the shoe fits . Well she is just another Jezebel. Hillary the Jezebel before her taught her the path To hell is short and full of evil .
Her hyena cackle is the important memory all of us need to remember. Thank GOD those two “Looney’s” did not make it!
I just can’t imagine what America would be like if Kackling Kneepads had been elected president. More of the same shit we got from Bidump – lies, stupidity, lies, naps, lies, DEI, lies, getting lost in a garden, lies, acting like a tough guy, lies, uncle getting eaten by cannibals, lies, contracting cancer from raining oil, lies and oh did I mention LIES?