Sources confirm that the president of a local homeowner’s association visited a child’s house this Christmas morning to inform them that their gingerbread house wasn’t up to code.
“Sorry to do this to you, especially on the holiday, but we have to destroy the home,” said local Home Owner’s Association president Melvin Potter, before proceeding to break 9-year-old Maddie Hawthorne’s gingerbread house she had worked all week on. “Maybe next time you’ll learn to get the proper permits and consult with the zoning commission before you build any more abodes on this acreage. Crying isn’t going to get us off your case, either, Maddie.”
The parents were outraged but ultimately understood the nature of the visit.
“We told her to be careful with the HOA if she was going to be doing a build in here,” said Susan Hawthorne, Maddie’s mother. “A few years ago my husband Scott got into LEGO’s and some HOA jerks came down here and destroyed the Seattle Space Needle he’d built in the basement. These people are the absolute scum of the earth, but sadly they’re holding all the cards. You can’t give them an excuse to come over and go on a power trip.”
As of press time, the HOA officials had shot down Santa’s sleigh, citing concerns over how close to the neighborhood he was flying.
HOA’s are normally ran by diabilcal cockroaches who think they can create chaos through their imagined power. First thing when buying any house is ask is there a HOA and if yes then don’t buy it!!!!!!!!!!!
The HOA is merely trying to protect the entire neighborhood. Who knows what might happen to a gingerbread house when subjected to a weather-manipulated–cyclone, or when global warming might over-bake it? They even ensure our freedom by specifally not regulating which color of recyclable garbage bag is allowed to be put out AND a three-hour window that its conformity can be displayed at the curb. Don’t you have any respect for the freedoms they give and that YOU agreed to limit?
The HOA is merely trying to protect the entire neighborhood. Who knows what might happen to a gingerbread house when subjected to a weather-manipulated–cyclone, or when global warming might over-bake it? They even ensure our freedomS by specifally not regulating which color of recyclable garbage bag is allowed to be put out AND a three-hour window that its conformity can be displayed at the curb. Don’t you have any respect for the freedoms they give and that YOU agreed to limit?
If that don’t cut it? Homeowners Associations are penalizing those with Code Violations on their Gingerbread Houses? I’ll be dipped in crap! What’s next?
Our HOA is run by two extremely hot lesbians, who are very friendly. I do every thing I can to get them to come over and hang out by the pool with some drinks. Life is good in my subdivision!!!