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Home U.S. News

Ice Cream Truck Driver Making a Fortune Just Circling White House

Joe King by Joe King
July 1, 2024
in U.S. News
5
Ice Cream Truck Driver Making a Fortune Just Circling White House
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A local Washington D.C. ice cream driver has been having the summer of his lifetime due to one simple trick; he’s been circling the White House for eight hours a day and selling ice cream to President Joe Biden. 

“Hey slow down Jack, let me get another cone,” hollered the President at the ice cream truck, halting a recent press conference to get his third tasty treat of the day. “It’s been so dang hot out here this ice cream truck’s been an absolute lifesaver. We gotta get this guy a security clearance so he can follow me on international trips!” 

The driver said that after years in the business, he’s having his most lucrative summer ever by far. 

“It’s usually hard work, prowling neighborhoods from sun up to sun down to try and turn a profit a dollar at a time,” said ice cream truck driver Davey Bennett. “But lately I just roll up to Pennsylvania Avenue, get waved in by the gate people, and start blasting my music. Usually, Biden’s out here within five to ten minutes, which is pretty impressive if you see how slowly he does everything else.” 

As of press time, the nation’s defense alerts were set to DEFCON 3 briefly after President Biden came down with an ice cream headache.

Tags: Bidenelectionice cream
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Comments 5

  1. Nate says:
    11 months ago

    Most sales came from “The Bone-Headed President”!

    Reply
  2. Kathryn says:
    11 months ago

    This has gotta be a joke.

    Reply
    • G.C. Davis says:
      11 months ago

      This is a satire site. Of course it’s a joke.

      Reply
  3. Everett says:
    11 months ago

    Joke or not, what a lucrative and cushy job it would be…….as long as Jotato Briben can stay on his feet and remember what ice cream is!!!

    Reply
  4. Eva Braun says:
    11 months ago

    Come on stupids. That’s a cover. His dealer is inside.

    Reply

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