Kimmel Extends Anti-Trump Contract, Says ‘Why Risk A New Joke?’

Following President Trump’s State of the Union address, Jimmy Kimmel announced a permanent residency titled “Still Mad: The Sequel,” promising at least four more years of delivering the exact same anti-Trump monologue with slightly increased eyebrow intensity, sources have confriemd

According to insiders, the new format eliminates punchlines entirely, replacing them with extended sighs, dramatic eye-rolls, and a teleprompter permanently set to “Insert Outrage Here.”

Producers reportedly considered adding fresh material but ultimately decided consistency was safer for viewers who prefer their nightly outrage pre-approved and gluten-free.

Critics say the show now consists of replaying last night’s rant at a marginally louder volume.

Fans have hailed the repetition as “brave” and “so new,” despite recognizing every line before he says it.

Members of the Deep Left Choir — AOC, Schumer, Jeffries, Omar, and assorted professional gaspers — reportedly praised the residency, thanking Kimmel for saying the same thing they say, only with better lighting and commercial breaks.

The White House dismissed the performance as “sad, angry, and insufferable,” though bipartisan observers quietly agreed on at least one adjective.

President Trump, meanwhile, continued outlining policy wins while Kimmel outlined his feelings for the 3,000th consecutive evening.

As of press time, Kimmel was reportedly works-hopping tomorrow’s monologue, which sources say will be identical, just slightly more dramatic.