Large numbers of juice prospectors have flooded the state of Florida after the price of orange juice continues to skyrocket, sources have confirmed.
“This is just crazy,” said Florida resident Gary Miller. “People are calling it the Miami Juice Rush. But there’s only one problem. Everyone assumes that all the orange juice comes from Florida, but most of it actually comes from Brazil. So a lot of people are coming out here with visions of fame and fortune, but are absolutely striking out when it comes to discovering large amounts of orange juice.”
Still, many prospectors have ventured out to Florida searching for a better life, maintaining optimism despite the harsh odds and climate they face.
“Yeehaw, would you look at that!” said recent Florida arrival Dudley “Corn Cob” Rivers after finding a couple of oranges in some tall grass near a strip mall parking lot. “I’ve hit paydirt! Liquid gold! This is the greatest country in the world! I’m gonna send for my wife and kids and we’re gonna rent us a condo in a gated community. Yahoo!”
As of press time, Dudley “Corn Cob” Rivers had sold the yield from his found oranges for an undisclosed five figure sum.
Most of Florida’s orange juice comes from Brazil? Look at almost any package of Oranges in Florida’s grocery stores. IT will say they come from the evil Nation State of California.