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Puberty Blockers Get Nike Fitness Boost

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
April 24, 2025
in Sports
6
Puberty Blockers Get Nike Fitness Boost
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Nike’s new trans fitness line drops as they fund a study on puberty blockers’ effects on kids’ athletic performance, sources have confirmed.

In a bold pivot from mere sneakers, Nike’s “Transcend” collection—featuring rainbow compression tights and “affirmation” sports bras—aims to “empower every athlete’s journey,” even if that journey involves irreversible medical interventions before puberty.

The study, reportedly conducted by Dr. Pronoun, tests how blockers dampen young boys’ athletic prowess to “level the playing field” in women’s sports.

Critics call it dystopian, but Nike insists it’s “inclusive science.” The line’s slogan, “Just Transition It,” has conservatives fuming, with boycotts brewing faster than a CrossFit cooldown.

Meanwhile, Nike’s stock continues its two-year slide, down from $129 to $71, as parents clutch their wallets and their kids’ futures. The company claims this is “progress,” but X posts scream “woke nonsense.”

As of press time, Nike was reportedly designing a new shoe called the “Blocker Boost” to help kids “run from reality.”

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Comments 6

  1. Carl says:
    2 weeks ago

    Unfortunately this is more truth than satire

    Reply
  2. GSM says:
    2 weeks ago

    This is just a small portion of the filth NIKE is for
    No More NiKE’s ever. Turning girls into boys and boys into girls with Drugs they will be on for the rest of their entire lives When the SHTF hits . There will be no more drugs. China is laughingvat every moron that listened to them and the democrats
    China wants you turned into an idiot and democrats want you dead
    So far they have half of America

    Reply
    • Nellie says:
      2 weeks ago

      I stopped shopping at Target and Walmart when they promoted the gay-lesbian for kids. I have gay friends and they dress as birth. We should have birth certificate as MALE OR FEMALE. I don’t want to share a bathroom with a trans.

      Reply
  3. 2004done says:
    2 weeks ago

    Good thing that transeses are all so very feminine that their jockstraps still work, otherwise they would seem like just men besting women (still, in the left hand fantasy construct of all men being misogynist)

    Reply
  4. Nellie says:
    2 weeks ago

    Just another way for Chinese Communism to destroy our kids. CRT is a Chinese Communism program to destroy everything that brought kids together. Trangender treatment without parents concent is teaching kids not to tell parents what the public schools, colleges and universities are teaching Communism. Their should be a law, NO foreign countries can donate to our schools.

    Reply
    • GSM says:
      2 weeks ago

      No its Satan and he is laughing at how they took to his plan to destroy Gods creations
      America has been taken over by the Dragon himself.
      And the demon party is obliging the dumbed down foolish idiots among us with the means to make sure Hods babies Never see daylight.
      Hell is increasing itself daily.
      This took root because People through God out and embraced evil

      Reply

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