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Secret Service Agent Who Would Do Anything in the Line of Duty Mostly Helping Biden With the Remote

Joe King by Joe King
May 28, 2024
in Politics
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Secret Service Agent Who Would Do Anything in the Line of Duty Mostly Helping Biden With the Remote
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A local Secret Service agent, highly specialized, dedicated, and with the highest security clearance Washington has, reportedly has been spending most of the last few years helping President Joe Biden figure out the remote control, sources have confirmed. 

“Where are all my programs,” asked Biden, pointing his stereo remote at the television in the Oval Office and wondering why nothing was happening. “I had a Bonanza on here I was gonna finish and now I can’t even get the dang thing to turn on. Get in here, Wayne!” 



Wayne Hamilton, 29, expected more out of his appointment to White House Secret Service detail. 

“It’s not like the movies and TV shows, not at all,” he said. “I never saw Harrison Ford or Clint Eastwood explain to the President that all you have to do if you want to switch inputs is press the ‘Input’ button. That wouldn’t make for a very exciting movie, huh? No, it sure wouldn’t. But that’s what I’ve been doing most of the time around here. That and helping him remember his phone password.” 

“It’s all ones,” he added. “But he still forgets most of the time.” 

As of press time, President Biden was seen trying to voice activate his remote control, despite it lacking voice activation technology. 

Tags: Bidensecret serviceTV
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Comments 2

  1. Jim says:
    1 year ago

    I had heard that the Secret Service has put a call out to field agents for anyone with experience changing diapers???

    Reply
  2. james meany says:
    1 year ago

    you guys/gals what ever you call them make my day keep it comming

    Reply

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