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Home U.S. News

Senate Democrats Outraged as Thune Bans Their Beloved Sloth-Race Politics

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
September 8, 2025
in U.S. News
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sloth politics
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Senate Democrats are reportedly fuming over Majority Leader John Thune’s upcoming rules change, sources have confirmed. Furious liberals argue the new system unfairly speeds up nominations, effectively killing their favorite pastime: moving at a snail’s pace while pretending to care about “the process.”

For years, Democrats have perfected the sloth-race style of governing — slow enough to frustrate voters but just fast enough to collect donor checks. The rules change threatens that tradition, leaving them shocked, gasping, and scrambling for their fainting couches.



Progressive activists denounced the change as “an assault on democracy,” but only after three weeks of committee meetings to decide which pronouns the press release should use. Meanwhile, conservatives welcomed the move, comparing it to President Trump’s habit of actually doing things instead of holding another panel on feelings.

Experts predict Democrats will attempt to stall the rules change itself by filibustering bathroom breaks, demanding snail sanctuaries, and insisting every nomination hearing begin with a land acknowledgment to their own procrastination.

As of press time, Democrats were still drafting a statement condemning Thune — though it remains stuck in committee until 2027.

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Comments 2

  1. GSM says:
    3 months ago

    What democrats are pushing is democracy ! Which democracy means ruled by the government . But you see they changed the meaning of who the government is. They think it’s themselves Democrats are terrorists who don’t think like a citizen of America .Or like Omar And Talib are not .Nor do the people who stand with them. Democrats destroyed our economy . And republicans sat by and let them And if Trump can get us out of this hell they created.Because they got by with it. Having Americans too lazy to think for themselves! May God himself make sure no democrats or rinos ever sit in DC or our entire government throughout America again They are Those who steal and kill . Not one good thing. They managed Blacism! To cause a civil war. Not because they care about blacks. They knew black people would wake up to their slavery. So there’s the reason for illegals to replace us all
    America is not a democracy !
    We are a republic. Meaning we the people are the government/ Real Americans Not illegals or those who claim to be Americans yet are the real enemies within.
    Those who are protesting against ice are the fools they are using . It’s amazing how stupid they are . You are standing against removing those who have raped/murdered and stole every thing they can . You are standing for murder and rape of Americans by those who We voted to get rid of every last one of them . Get out of America go with your rapists and murderers and drug dealers and child trafficking. You people have passed the point of no return. Do you think we are ever going to go back to another democrat run hell hole .
    If you think what you are doing is rough What you are pushing for will have blood running in the streets. And all of you forget You put your faces in front of the cameras thinking you are causing problems All you are doing Is setting yourselves up as the enemies in America

    Reply
  2. Beverly Soltwedel says:
    3 months ago

    It is just amazing how ignorant the Dumocratic party has become. Every time something comes up they try and stall the process. I just do not understand their stupidity and ignorance. HOW in the world did such stupid people get elected. Crockett, Cortez, Schumer, and the rest of the Dumocrats-they are just plain ignorant

    Reply

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