Nancy Pelosi’s latest Jan. 6 retelling has reportedly sent her nose into a “Disney-level growth spurt,” sources have confirmed.
Former Capitol Police Chief Steven Sund responded by posting “liar liar pants on fire” to X, complete with a Pinocchio GIF and a pastel meme reading, “The truth will set you free, sweetie.”
Sund also claims Pelosi once waved off the National Guard by saying, “We’re totally safe — I saw it on my vision board,” before sprinkling biodegradable glitter on a map of the Capitol.
When pressed about this, Pelosi blamed “temporary amnesia” and a case of CRS — “Can’t Remember S#!t” — which she now markets as “Memory Equity” for broader appeal.
Witnesses report her nose expanded mid-interview, knocking over the teleprompter and narrowly missing a touring group of 4th graders.
“It’s like a joust, but with lies instead of lances,” said one aide, sidestepping the slow-moving appendage.
Trump, briefed on the development, quipped, “Her nose is the only thing Democrats have built without raising taxes.”
As of press time, Capitol staff had installed flashing hazard beacons on her nose tip to alert low-flying delivery drones.
Awesome!! We are dislike her and know that if her lips are moving she lying… it’s very cool that we have so many people not afraid to point her BS out… keep up the good work
During the activities on January 6, I watched as they removed her laptop and proved that she caused the entire problem. She screamed that the laptop was gone but it was already cloned and the truth has been coming out ever since she lied to congress and the people and began her planned assault on President Trump. That scumbag hag should have been arrested and prosecuted 50 years ago for all the sneaky cheating lies and corruption she used to gain the top House seat. Too many other corrupt animals were scared to go against her because her laptop was full of her low life plans and dirt she used against other House scumbags. She belongs in prison!