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Home U.S. News

WOKE PROFESSOR DECLARES 1940s MOVIE TOO FESTIVE TO BE LEGAL

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
December 28, 2025
in U.S. News
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Another out of touch with reality professor, trying their luck with the cancel culture created by woke activists and progressive tantrum throwers, has deemed the author of It’s a Wonderful Life racist, sources have confirmed.

The Author Philip V. D. Stern, born to a Jewish father and a mother from New Jersey, a man known for historical accounts of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln, and his work supporting literary programs during World War II, wrote a short story about a family celebrating Christmas in the 1940s, is now apparently a white hood enthusiast because the looney left and their whiny friends can’t survive 20 minutes without inventing a new thing to bicker about.



According to campus insiders, the professor reportedly detected racism hiding inside sheet music, festive snowfalls, and the dangerous presence of optimism, which experts say is now classified as a microaggression.

Students were warned the movie contains unapproved joy, unchecked marriage, and a troubling lack of gender studies majors roaming Bedford Falls.

Progressive leaders applauded the revelation, stating the film must be replaced with a three hour documentary about systemic snowfall bias narrated by a barista who hates his dad.

Activists also demanded the angel Clarence be recast as a non corporeal life coach with student loan debt.

Conservatives responded by doing the unthinkable, watching the movie again, loving it more, and streaming it free just to share the Christmas spirit.

As of press time, the professor was asking woke activists to cancel It’s a Wonderful Life along with Christmas songs, stockings, mistletoe, and any bell that jingles without a trigger warning.

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Comments 6

  1. UglySlippers says:
    2 months ago

    I know this is satire, but the sad part is that it could actually happen.

    Reply
    • TheConfessor says:
      2 weeks ago

      Actually, this happened.

      Reply
  2. Joe says:
    2 months ago

    It’s a good thing for that he is a tenured college professor. In the real world this prissy little fool wouldn’t last long.

    Reply
  3. Terry R Gray says:
    2 months ago

    It is good satire. You’re not sure if it is or isn’t, or as you say could actually happen.

    Reply
  4. uncle albert says:
    2 months ago

    I’ve been very rude to a lot of folks…….I walk down sidewalks proclaiming MERRY CHRISTMAS to every person I pass, usually including “Sir” or “Madam” based on their physical appearance.
    It’s MY freedom of speech to do so !

    and to all, a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year !

    Reply
  5. Pia says:
    2 months ago

    “The cancel culture created by woke activists and progressive tantrum throwers” are all masochists… and incredibly stupid – they inflict pain on themselves and then complain about it.

    Reply

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