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Biden Vows to Give Ukraine as Much Money as Humanly Possible

Joe King by Joe King
April 23, 2024
in World News
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Biden Vows to Give Ukraine as Much Money as Humanly Possible
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President Joe Biden announced plans early this morning to hook Ukraine up with as much federal assistance as he can possibly get them for as long as he’s in power, sources have confirmed. 

“More, more,” screamed Biden, shortly after news broke that a support package had been approved to send Ukraine $61 billion more in military aid. “Are we sure this is going to be enough? Maybe we should start a Volodymyr Zelenskyy tax and that way every American can just float part of every paycheck of theirs right to our good pals in Ukraine. Wouldn’t that be just what we need?” 



Many American citizens expressed frustration over the US’ continued support of the three year old conflict between Ukraine and Russia. 

“There’s always money for Ukraine I noticed,” said concerned local citizen Mike Carter. “I can’t afford groceries and my utility bills are skyrocketing, but oh hey, we have 12 figures for Ukraine? That’s cool. Hey, could they maybe put 50 dollars into the spending package so I can get some new work shoes without holes in them? Tell them I’m Ukrainian if that helps my case at all.”  

As of press time, Biden announced that the Super Bowl would be held in Ukraine this year, and President Zelenskyy would be allowed to start at quarterback for whichever team he wished.  

Tags: BidenspendingUkraine
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Comments 2

  1. Po says:
    1 year ago

    Maybe the money is his so when he leaves the WH he will suddenly have a windfall

    Reply
  2. JOHN says:
    1 year ago

    BIDEN will send billions of dollars to the UKRAINIENS and in return they will give him millions just like they did in the past. Hunter Biden has been doing the same thing for years.

    Reply

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