Democrats have unveiled a new taxpayer-funded “Blame Trump Bureau,” where citizens can dial 1-800-ITS-HIS-FAULT to report life’s daily inconveniences, sources have confirmed.
Operators are reportedly trained to calmly inform callers that, yes, their stubbed toe, burnt Pop-Tart, or car not starting on a Monday morning is 100% the fault of Donald J. Trump.
Democrats are reportedly hoping the outlet will convert everyday annoyances into lifelong blue voters, with one strategist noting, “If people can blame Trump for missing the ice cream truck, they’ll certainly pull the lever for us in November.”
According to insiders, the program is being run by staffers suffering from advanced stages of Trump Derangement Syndrome, with symptoms ranging from shouting at televisions to insisting Trump is personally responsible for climate change, traffic jams, and the existence of Nickelback.
“It’s important for people to have a healthy outlet,” said one Democratic staffer while blaming Trump for “ mcdonald’s getting her order wrong.”
New Jersey Democrat Mikie Sherrill even accused Trump of causing a rain shower that ruined her campaign carnival, insisting “the clouds clearly take orders from Mar-a-Lago.”
Witnesses confirmed she then demanded federal funding for umbrellas.
Republican opponent Jack Ciattarelli tried calmly explaining that stubbed toes, rain showers, and slow Wi-Fi are just part of everyday life.
He was immediately shut down by “BTB” agents who screamed in unison, “No! It’s all Trump’s fault!” before handing him a pamphlet titled “How to Properly Assign Blame.”
As of press time, the Bureau was investigating reports that Mercury’s retrograde, flat soda, and cold DoorDash fries were also “Trump’s doing.”
TDS at its finest. Showing the entire nation that they take no responsibility for their own words and actions.
25 million illegals .. that was there fault. Rape, murders, crime from these illegals, Democrats fault. Killing Charlie Kirk Democrats fault.
This is as bad as their attempt to start a misinformation czar to tell us everything they say is good and if you disagree you are a Nazi, fascist, racist. etc.
The bullets for 10 years have been coming from the left to the right. We are being killed by those the Dems have indoctrinated.
I guess we should start a similar group as there are many more Republican that lived through the corrupt Obama, Biden/Harris and we can attach receipts not just words,
The “Platform” for the Left should read: Scheme, Scam and Swindle
The “Platform” for the Right should read: Build, Believe and Be Blessed
– I am sure all can see the difference
Pia,
You my friend are spot on !
Wow ! For the last 100 yrs Democrats have not been able to think. I know I have lived 76 of those yrs and have seen and listened To most idiots ever to sit in our chambers . To come to the conclusion that Satan himself personally created that party of death and destruction up .
One with half a brain cell can see the evil they spew and destroy and exhibit daily
This is funny ! The word think doesn’t even come to mind when mentioning a democrat or their supporters
Example – they created and believe what they were born ( it only takes a look ) is not what they believe. They totally tried single handily to destroy the word Mother And Rip off every persona genitalia. And turn every person into a queer Especially our children.
They do not have the ability to think much less Be able to make rational decisions based on truth .
There I go ! Into another area they can’t do.
Deal with or tell the truth