A confused Joe Biden appeared on the White House lawn this morning, publicly pardoning a turkey in a tradition usually reserved for Thanksgiving, sources have confirmed.
“I’m not really sure why he did that,” said Helen Donahue, a local mother that attended the Easter festivities with her children. “All the kids were running around doing the Easter Egg hunt, having a blast, when suddenly our President comes out talking about how it’s time to ‘Pardon the turkey like we do every year’. No one had the heart to tell him he was thinking of the wrong holiday, and needless to say, the event was pretty awkward from there.”
Defenders of Biden’s say that scrutiny around his age and mental bearings is unwarranted.
“So he does things a little differently, is that a crime?” asked one of Biden’s Secret Service agents that wished to remain anonymous. “Some people are worried about our 81-year-old President and the way he seems to be getting his holidays all confused, but I don’t see what the big deal is. It keeps things interesting around here. Remember when he shot a Roman Candle into the Christmas Tree on St. Patrick’s Day? That was a really fun day. Until the fire, of course.”
As of press time, President Biden declared that the Easter Turkey had seen his shadow, meaning we’re in for two more months of winter.
Yeah, when you come out and the trees are budding and you say a Thanksgiving quote……time to retire to the nursery. HAPPY KWANZAA JOZO!!!