In a bold leap forward for elite accountability, George Clooney unveiled Hollywood’s newest innovation: a “Selective Outrage Generator” designed to instantly detect and condemn Republican opinions while safely ignoring anything inconvenient to the left, Sources have confirmed
Developed somewhere between a wine tasting and a yacht meeting, the AI system reportedly springs into action the moment a conservative tweets, delivering preloaded responses like “threat to democracy” and “literally violence” within milliseconds.
However, when exposed to controversies involving organizations like the Southern Poverty Law Center, the system emits a soft chime before displaying the message: “Error 404: Narrative Not Found.”
Clooney demonstrated the tool alongside Jimmy Kimmel, who praised its ability to “protect comedy from accountability,” noting that the generator also includes an auto-defense feature that reclassifies offensive jokes as “courage.”
Early testers confirmed the machine can detect microaggressions from 3,000 miles away but becomes completely unresponsive when confronted with anything labeled “progressive scandal,” often powering down entirely while whispering “Russian disinformation” in a calming tone.
Industry insiders say the technology is already being adopted across major media networks, ensuring a consistent flow of outrage where it matters most:
Safely within approved narratives.
As of press time, Clooney was reportedly upgrading the system to automatically deposit $10 million into any celebrity’s account the moment they claim to be a victim.
The left is insane and quite phony.
Having known Rosemary Clooney when I worked in news in Cincinnati, I can only imagine she’s spinning in her grave over her son’s activities and reputation today.
I think he is her nephew, not her son. Am I correct?
You are correct.
Good news: The DOJ has gotten an indictment of the SPLC!! Finally, revenge for these scumbags putting our beloved KKK out of business. Maybe we can bring back this cherished organization to carry out the appropriate disciplining of uppity blacks like the used to. Happy days are here again.!!
Mike, you post is a great example of the machine at work . . . Automatically labeling as KKK or racist anyone who opposes the marxist-like agenda of the SPLC. A lot of us are really tired of seeing good people and organizations that want nothing more than to genuinely help people labeled as hate groups.
Nobody wants to see the KKK back in business. But they also don’t want to see organizations like SLPC making millions off taxpayer money while the rest of us actually go to work everyday to make a living.
Looney Clooney! Sounds familiar! So when are we going to hear: “That’s all folks!!” Am I the only one waiting for this idiot to fade away into the sunset with all of the free handouts of nothing given and everything promised? When I really think about him and the others…. WFCWTW!!