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Harris Blames Debate Loss on Trump Refusing to Discuss Goldfish Anxiety Program

J.K. Around by J.K. Around
September 29, 2025
in U.S. News
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Former Vice President Kamala Harris admitted in a recent interview that her debate loss to President Trump was not only due to poor preparation, but because Trump “rudely ignored” the questions she had rehearsed for, sources have confirmed.

Harris said she spent weeks preparing zingers about “comfier prisons, cultural sensitivity reforms, and the future of safe places for goldfish — preferably with tax payer-funded aquariums,” only for Trump to blindside her with questions about jobs, inflation, and national security.



“It’s just not fair,” Harris complained.

“I was ready to discuss pillow-top mattresses for inmates, free yoga breaks at the DMV, and a national program to reduce goldfish anxiety.

Instead, he dragged me into these outdated topics like the economy and keeping America safe. Who even cares about those anymore?”

Campaign staff revealed they had invested $100,000 in coaching Harris on issues like “inclusive language for hurricanes,” “grant programs for TikTok influencers,” and “whether windmills have feelings,” but admitted they failed to cover basic as such as grocery prices or border policy.

As of press time, Harris was reportedly demanding future debates include pre-screened questions like “Should we allow dogs to self-identify as service animals?” to ensure a level playing field — ideally one with beanbag chairs, and therapy clowns.

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Comments 3

  1. GSM says:
    5 months ago

    A beautiful day in America !
    Will be ! When Democrats cease to be seen or heard . Or any politician for that matter ! The old saying goes ! Do not speak until spoken too . Will be the day that this giggling moron ceases to exist in America . It’s time she return to her country . She is not an American neither is Obama . We are tired of both . Notice how many in our government are not legal Americans creating the hate among our people.
    She caused every illegal that has murdered and raped and stolen from Americans to continue to flood into America . Democrats are the example of the old adage. They never die they exist on the fringes of our government to screw us all. James Carvel come to mind. And Ahab and Jezebel that should have met the tree over 50 yrs ago .
    Every democrat screaming death and attacks and destruction by those they indoctrinated by the education system they used to destroy our children. All of them should meet not only. The fire after death. Should be punished while on earth for their treason against America . Start with the entire party of demons !

    Reply
  2. Irene F Mazur says:
    5 months ago

    “Instead, he dragged me into these outdated topics like the economy and keeping America safe. Who even cares about those anymore?” The governor of Illinois and the mayor of Chicago certainly don’t!!

    Reply
    • Jb says:
      5 months ago

      Preach!!

      Reply

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