Los Angeles Democrats unveiled a bold new voting reform this week that would eliminate voter ID, citizenship requirements, birth certificates, names, addresses, and any remaining obstacles preventing a confused Swedish tourist from deciding the next election, sources have confirmed.
City officials praised the proposal as a historic step toward “democracy without all the annoying democracy paperwork,” explaining that asking voters to prove who they are creates unnecessary barriers for undocumented immigrants, foreign students, visiting diplomats, Chinese businessmen, Canadian snowboarders, and anyone currently loitering near a ballot drop box with a convincing smile.
“Why should voting be limited to citizens?” asked one LA progressive while feeding absentee ballots into a T-shirt cannon.
“That kind of thinking is exactly why the Constitution hasn’t been updated by TikTok.” Under the new plan, polling stations would be replaced with “Community Ballot Vibes Centers,” where participants simply point at a candidate photo and receive a sticker reading, “I Might Have Voted.”
Republicans objected, claiming elections should be reserved for American citizens, a radical extremist position traced back to the hateful old days when words meant things. Democrats dismissed the criticism, insisting Los Angeles must become the Ellis Island of ballot harvesting, but with more QR codes, fewer boats, and complimentary taxpayer-funded kombucha.
As of press time, LA Dem Hugo Soto-Martinez was heard suggesting a follow-up proposal allowing people to vote by honking twice near City Hall.
You’re out of your ever lovin’minds. Why should nly citizens be allowed to vote? STUPID QUESTION! No citizens have NO RIGHT deciding what or h governs our cities, states or nation!
You do realize that Daily Skrape articles are total satire, do you not? They are written in a way that throws serious shade on such ridiculous policies as allowing noncitizens unfettered freedom to vote in our elections!
Nooooo!!!!
Noooooooo!!
Time to take a vote to throw these traitor sates out of the country! Arrest these leaders destroying the constitution!
If democrats really wanted to be of service to the fine citizens of CA, why not be more helpful and just offer to vote for them? No more wasting time in lines, maybe it’s hot and possibly even in the sun; so this would offer the citizens, oops voters, to avoid the discomfort and possibly sun damage. Also, think of all the gasoline and harmful emissions (unless of course every citizen, oops, did it again, voter, already has an electric car which we know are powered magically using zero fossil fuel 🙄) that would be saved! Maybe the service could then be extended and non-partisan (😂) volunteers could meet airplanes coming into LAX and poll the deplaning passengers, from many country, how they want them to vote for them! What a worthy service this would be for the citizens, oops I keep doing that, the voters, in the state.
Yep, the Demorats still fit the old saying of [ STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES] 😱
And the Republicans will believe anything. Stupidity runs high for the magas that’s why it is so easy to get them riled up. You just believe anything it is dam funny.
Jeanine, have you heard of the Trump deranged syndrome? Talk about riled up! The antidote is to join the Maga group. 😁
No I don’t have your ignorant syndrome unfortunately for you that your president whom I did not vote for gets butt hurt over every thing. He thinks he is Jesus although I don’t recall Jesus ever lying the way your president does, hell he doesn’t even like the Pope because he was butt hurt over a comment he made. There is Noone in this world that is perfect and yet Trump thinks he is. The only one that is deranged is sitting in OUR WHITEHOUSE spending money like it is water. How many presidents do you know that NEVER seek approval for ANYTHING. The last time I checked we have a Congressand Senate that should be working along side the president. Ever heard of checks and balances? Si you can accuse all of us normal LAW ABIDING CITIZENS of whatever but the truth is Trump is only out for himself. I actually thought when he gave his inaugural speech that this time he would be different, But No 5 minutes into the speech he threw half of Anerica under the bus. That is NOT A PRESIDENT FOR ALL. So knock yourself out call me names whatever you sound just like him. SO VERY SAD.
Yay, soon my dogs and cats will get to vote. I’ve taught my dogs to point to republican pictures and my cats to meow their names. This may work out. I’ll get tons of dogs and cats to do the same. All you have to do is treat the cats to salmon and the dogs to prime rib and they’ll do anything.
I see no problem with this. It will eliminate the need for the very long and expensive counting of the vote. Just dont bother to count the vote. The Government can just tell us how it came out.
I believe they are already progressing that way and all this does is put it in writing.
Hey Jeanine and T. I would love to see the looks on your face 50 to 100 years from now when there are many statues erected to Donald Trump who along with Washington, Lincoln and Reagan will go
down as one of our greatest Presidents. In order to cure your TDS I suggest you get some MAGA hats which will cover up the puppet strings protruding from your heads.