Hollywood Reimagines Anti-Communist Classic As Anti-Capitalist Fart Opera

Director Andy Serkis has reportedly unveiled a bold new children’s adaptation of Animal Farm that bravely fixes George Orwell’s outdated anti-communist message by replacing it with anti-capitalist lectures, celebrity voice acting, and enough fart jokes to qualify as a federal emissions event, sources have confirmed

The film, described by critics as “what happens when a book report is written by a BlueSky intern with lactose intolerance,” reportedly reimagines Orwell’s warning about totalitarianism as a colorful tale about how capitalism is bad, billionaires are scary, and pigs are only evil if they vote Republican.

Hollywood executives praised the creative decision, explaining that modern children no longer need dusty old concepts like hard work, American capitalism, and individual freedom when they can be inspired by barn animals passing gas during lectures on equity.

Serkis allegedly celebrated the premiere by denouncing Trump in a smug red hat while quietly begging Republicans to hate-watch his communist fart cartoon before Hollywood had to blame the failure on Republicans anyway.

Despite 2,600 screens, glowing industry buzz, and enough A-list voices to fill a climate-change telethon, audiences reportedly fled theaters after realizing the pigs had better economic theories than the screenwriters.

One parent said the movie helped his child understand socialism perfectly: everyone suffered equally, except the celebrities who got paid.

As of press time, Hollywood had announced its next Orwell adaptation, 1984, now reimagined as a heartwarming comedy about fact-checkers saving democracy by deleting your uncle.