Governor Gavin Newsom’s meteoric rise has less to do with policy and more to do with perfect hair and a shelf of “At Least You Tried” awards, sources have confirmed.
Democrats now tout his “Participation Trophy Presidency,” where every haircut comes with a shiny medal for “showing up.”
Insiders say Newsom and Beto O’Rourke share the same stylist — and the same trophy supplier.
Californians report receiving unsolicited packages marked “Congrats on Brushing Today!”
Critics note the only thing shinier than Newsom’s resume is his conditioner.
His home office resembles a preschool gymnasium — ribbons for “Attempted Water Reform,” a plaque for “Best Instagram Angle,” and a gold-sprayed shoebox labeled “Didn’t Totally Ruin Everything.”
When pressed about California’s aggressive redistricting, Newsom insisted: “It’s not gerrymandering if we’re only making it fair.
And it’s only fair because we need more seats… because we say so.”
Aides quickly clarified he meant “equity,” while handing out participation stickers.
As of press time, Newsom was seen polishing his “World’s Best Blowout” trophy while Beto O’Rourke handed out medals at a Supercuts, declaring: “You get a trim, you get a trophy, democracy is saved.”
Brain dead morons.
Newsom is Californias gay man who is more worried about his hair and mouth than the people who pay his salary. He must of been pounded so hard because he has sh-t for brains. Bubba says he got a pretty big mouth.
Californians should start singing that song from “South Pacific” –
I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair, and send him on his way.
Maybe that song should be adopted for the campaign!!!
Wow Pia,
Thanks for the trip down memory lane ! “South Pacific!” Great book, great play, great movie !
You are absolutely correct. What I great song reference so sum up the essence ( herbal essence ? ) of the problem that is Gavin Newsom, and the solution to it ! 👍😁
—————Americans remember.—————
This is the same fool ( Ps 53-1 )
That had all hair products put behind glass doors .because his constituents are to ignorant as to how to properly use them .
And this thing is aiming at our house.
Newsom and his Auntie Pelosi plus all of the vile democrats that run California. Including the illegals they allowed to be put into their state positions and federal government positions.
Have destroyed this once beautiful state. They have displaced the legal citizens to the point that ! The only thing to straighten it out will be a war. And the legals have sided with these people for so long they have met their own destruction . Why because those they use for power receive every government assistance that belongs to Americans. Giving Illegals and those who rape the system by spewing out babies . Who have no dads around .
All I can say is ! I believe it will be the earthquake that will cause their end . Because the lava that runs continuously the entire length of Washington State And Oregon and California . That has opened fissures ( holes that release the heat and steam ) throughout all 3 states . That will get rid of them .
Just look at the amount of evil that exists there.
So plz don’t let this evil man who like his aunt has gotten rich off of the people. To ever sit in our
house. No democrat or republican is a good day for Americans
We do not need any party. Just a legal American for Americans to sit in our house.
If God doesn’t intervene first !