New York City progressives erupted in celebration after socialist mayoral hopeful Zohran Mamdani vowed to push for a $30 minimum wage, sources have confirmed.
Supporters hailed the idea as a victory for “working people everywhere,” though finance experts suggest business owners would rather have AI bots serving lattes than phone-wielding, angsty teens seeking their first jobs.
In anticipation of the proposal, several coffee shops have already beta-tested Latte Bot 5000, a touchscreen barista that never sighs when asked to remake a drink.
Chipotle announced plans for BurritoBot 3000, a robotic worker that rolls tortillas with precision, then lectures customers on the dangers of private property.
Critics note Mamdani can’t actually enact the wage hike, but the candidate insists he will “hold his breath until capitalism collapses.”
Eyewitnesses say he turned a concerning shade of purple before aides rushed to provide him with organic juice boxes.
Meanwhile, economists warn the only real jobs left may involve rebooting robots when they freeze—compensation paid in store credit redeemable only for clearance items.
As of press time, Mamdani was reportedly spotted trying to unionize with a parking meter, demanding it earn $40 an hour and donate 50% to the Mamdani Juice Box Fund.
Since snarky satire is the only way to tell people what has Actually happened without being removed by the Nazi censorship.
Just ask yourself this question! And whose money is being promised.
Just like the judge ordered Our money to be paid to the university’s.
Ask where a judge or a politician has the right to give our money to whoever they deem. ? We the people spoke We want our money to go to our people And Universities are a place of every enemies agendas being indoctrinated upon the most gullible/ignorant among us
Right on!
Send this flea infested camel fer back to his own country. America doesn’t want his socialist policies here like his own screwed up dictator country. This swine will destroy NY completely with his asshole helper AOC who’s dumber than a bag of rocks and how did a poor bartender who never paid off her student loans become a multimillionaire on a government salary in a couple of years. Because she’s a corrupt democrat making her self rich on taxpayers money and getting kickbacks of laundered foreign affairs. She needs a forensic financial investigation into all her finances. Pigs get fat hogs get slaughtered. And Mamdani is the same corrupted politician. Wake up NY State before they destroy your state and your future you keep voting for democrats and what have they done for you other than blow smoke up your asses for years promised everything delivered on nothing but more crime and more taxes while the state became the east coast cesspool of our country. Wake Up.
Democrats are so stupid you keep wanting to raise hourly work wages the more you make the more you pay for goods how stupid do you have to be to understand that businesses just pass the extra costs to consumers. Look what asshole Newscum did to California how many people lost their jobs because of wage increases and how many businesses pulled out of California or just closed up shop. Democrats are the stupidest assholes ever to be in government everything they touch goes to sh-t. Never Trust a democrat ever again NY State had democrats for decades and destroyed one of the best states and everyday thousand of people are leaving and more illegals are taking over the cities all because of democrats like Kathy Hochul what a useless DEI asshole she is. The only thing she can do is eat an apple through a picket fence.