In a last-ditch effort to win back the working class, Democrats have rolled out a “Blue Collar Speed Dating” initiative, sources have confirmed.
The event was held in a kombucha bar mislabeled as a “union hall,” where progressives sat across from actual workers for three painfully awkward minutes at a time.
Democrats arrived with tote bags, climate pamphlets, and pronoun name tags, while workers brought steel boots, pay stubs, and common sense.
Conversation cards included gems like, “Explain why your pickup truck isn’t gender-neutral,” and “Please apologize for saying ‘you guys,’ which is violence.”
The hypocrisy was rich: climate activists lectured about carbon footprints before hopping private jets, “Defund the Police” Democrats demanded extra security, and professors decried capitalism while handing out $200 “Tax the Rich” sweatshirts.
Things went downhill when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tried convincing a retired coal miner that banning gas stoves would make his chili “more inclusive.”
Half the room bolted straight for the nearest Buffalo Wild Wings.
Party leaders later declared the night a “huge success,” though witnesses say the only thing Democrats gained was fresh material for Republican campaign ads.
As of press time, organizers announced their next plan: mandatory DEI training for electricians before they’re allowed to change a lightbulb.
Anyone who is dating or married to a democrat . Must watch their back. Keep your head on swivel.
First off rape is a choice of theirs . Especially your children. And Plz don’t get pregnant because sucking out the brains of the unborn is their biggest thrill . Ask Schumer He loves statutory rape on 16 yr olds and then forces them to abort Then has no sadness if she hangs herself to death. Or Schiff who sexually assaults 12 yr old black boys to death But have hope after they use one of their agendas on you. They will see to It your possessions are given to an Illegal. Democrats tie you up to trees and then say it was a suicide when the gun shot to the back of the head and no gun can be found.
Be very careful Not only your life But those of your family as well is in danger of the democrat democracy
Don’t count on help from the tinker bells called republicans to help. They can’t disconnect from the democrats anus .
Someone didn’t take their Prozac. Chill dude, this is satire!
It’s also amusing that Dems have to take acting lessons in Hollywood to appear human. What hollow, empty schmucks they are.
Excellent read! Keep up the good work.