Moments after Nancy Pelosi announced her retirement, San Francisco declared a “Day of Reflection and Botox,” sources have confirmed.
City officials unveiled a bronze statue of Pelosi — which was promptly stolen, melted down, and used to reinforce tent poles in a nearby encampment.
Pelosi, who entered Congress in 1987, leaves behind decades of “dedicated minimalism,” as one colleague described her record.
Insiders say she’d grown weary of “dodging AOC’s socialism lectures” and “explaining capitalism to people who think Wi-Fi is a human right.”
Meanwhile, conservatives across the country celebrated with relief.
One man in Texas told reporters, “I can finally take these earplugs out,” while another said, “My ibuprofen budget just dropped 30%.”
Others were heard celebrating “the end of congressional insider trading season,” with one trader noting that “the stock market hasn’t been this secure since the 80s.”
As of press time, Pelosi was seen donating her remaining campaign funds to a Napa Valley vineyard “for emotional recovery purposes” and promising to “fight for democracy from her sunroom.”
Thank the Lord , a thief retires!
“Bout time!
She should be spending the rest of her life in jail for insider trading
Amen!
Don’t tease me like this ! I almost let out a joyous laugh. Until I realized !!! It’s just satire
What would really be great is?
If she would cease to be in the public .
Ask ?
How many democrats ever leave DC .Right now every past administrations people are the ones living in DC . When they die , their demonic spirits are seen tormenting Americans. When Ahab and Jezebel finally are removed. They are so evil There is no place but the hot house that can keep them . Just pray they don’t return to vote Or To re-occupy the WH
They forever cling around the fringes. Old evil James has been dug up again to spew his hate. . Right now Obama is demanding things and Kamala is issuing as if they still hold and office.
I pray that old hag actually takes her drunken dementia self home. But they are still rolling out Magoo .
No this is satire, but she really is going to retire! Thank the Lord the wicked Witch is going to be gone! Newscum next!
We thought they about Hillary
Yay !!!! The wicked witch is going away…..or just for awhile,she will pop back and forth .The Demons always do ,they are like hemorrhoids a pain in the ass ,they go away but always seem to come back
Ding, Dong!
Today is my birthday and this was like a great way to celebrate today!!! Bye bye Nancy 👋👋👋
The sight of sweet Nancy flying off in the moon light on her broom reminds me of the move with ET in the moon light .A picture is worth a 1000 words.