In a development that shocked absolutely no one with a functioning brain, wealthy leftist residents in Hollywood and other exclusive enclaves are experiencing a sharp uptick in high-end burglaries — and are now desperately begging for more police protection, sources have confirmed.
These are the same residents who spent the last several years posting “Defund the Police,” “All Cops Are Bastards,” and “Property is Theft” from the safety of their gated $8 million homes.
Now that reality has come knocking (literally, through their back windows), many are suddenly huge fans of a “heavier police presence” in their neighborhoods.
The delicious irony is thicker than Beverly Hills traffic.
While they once lectured the rest of America about sharing wealth and how police are the real criminals, these progressive homeowners are now installing state-of-the-art security systems, hiring private armed guards, and calling 911 faster than they can say “systemic inequality.”
One anonymous resident was reportedly heard shouting, “Not my Tesla and my imported Italian furniture!” while hiding in a panic room they previously described as “problematic privilege.”
Others who proudly displayed Black Lives Matter signs in their yards are now quietly hoping those same officers show up quickly when their jewelry drawers get cleaned out.
As of press time, several of these affluent leftists were reportedly working on strongly worded Instagram captions about how crime is only bad when it happens to them, while quietly voting for more police funding in their local elections.
Of course only because it is happening to them. You and me are criminals because we actually feel that our property is our property. That brilliant and fantasticly talented actress Alissa Milano was all about defunding and getting rid of the police until…a young boy was seen shooting a bb gun at squirrels in the woods across the street from her house. Three police cars and a helicopter were searching the woods for the horrible person in the woods with a gun. If she wants to protest the police, fine. Just don’t call them on a kid shooting squirrels with a bb gun.
It’s California. Land of fruits and nuts. Who cares!
Exactly!
Nahhh, let them deal with the insurance companies.
My brother was city cop for 28 years. Like he always said” only time people want or respect police is when perp is crawling thru your bedroom window”
Agreed. I was a cop for 22 years, after 20 years in the military.