In a shocking move, former President Donald J. Trump has ditched the Oval Office to become a district court judge in Florida, claiming it’s “the real power seat”, sources have confirmed.
Sources close to Trump say he’s thrilled to wield his “tremendous legal mind” over local disputes, from parking tickets to neighborly feuds. “Presidents are overrated; judges make the rules!”
Trump reportedly boasted at Mar-a-Lago, where he’s already trademarked his gavel as “Golden Justice.”
Insiders reveal he plans to livestream court sessions, dubbing them “The Greatest Trials in History.” Critics warn his rulings, like mandating “MAGA Mondays” in court, could spark chaos, but supporters cheer the “return of law and order.”
Legal scholars are baffled, noting district judges don’t outrank presidents, yet Trump insists, “I’m basically the Supreme Court now, folks.”
His first case? A dispute over a golf course hedge, which he settled by ordering both parties to “build a wall.”
As of press time, Trump was spotted designing a judicial robe with “Yuge” embroidered in gold.
Not only that, but he he let the usher help creepyjoe down the steps at the Vatican, probably because Putin gave him the blue suit so satan could find him in the carefully cropped picture. The world had better start counting down the seconds before the catastrophic global climate warming by 2010, since 45 in 2016, I mean 47 in 2025.
District Court Judge…
Eliminates all the work and time of staff crafting and him having to sign executive orders.
Eliminates all the work and time of Congress and Senate having to craft and pass laws.
AND, a District Court Judges rulings supersede all rulings made by anyone anywhere in the entire universe.
What a YHUGE move !
MDCJGA ! ( make district court judges great again )
Go TRUMP !