Beto O’Rourke promised supporters this week that Democrats will secure victory “no matter what,” insisting that the only real obstacle is “outdated concepts like laws, definitions, and math,” sources have confirmed.
The pledge came during a rally held on an inflatable debate stage shaped like a snowflake, floating in a reflecting pool “to symbolize transparency.”
O’Rourke arrived late, galloping in atop his robot unicorn named “Woke Majesty,” wearing a cape bedazzled with the phrase “Democracy Daddy.”
“This isn’t cheating,” Beto told the crowd of woke enthusiasts and self-identified democracy influencers.
“It’s reimagining the districts so they’re more emotionally inclusive.
And if your truth is voting in your pajamas from a beanbag chair twelve times, who am I to judge?”
When officials informed him the unicorn could not be registered as an emotional support animal, Beto was overheard saying, “We are Democrats. We do what we want, when we want,” before demanding the animal be given a voter registration card.
He then outlined his “Community Sharing Program,” allowing one voter to cast ballots for “friends who were spiritually unavailable to participate.” as long as they were “woke map supporters.”
Critics noted it looked suspiciously like ballot harvesting, to which Beto replied, “Only if you think of ballots as crops, which is colonial and problematic.”
As of press time, volunteers were erecting inflatable “safe space” booths outside polling sites for voters triggered by opposing campaign signs, while the unicorn refused to leave without a guaranteed cabinet position in the Department of Narrative Reshaping.
Beto is like all democrats . Blind and stupid. And evil to the core. That refuses to fade away . We as Texans remember that Beto took bus ’s to Mexico to bring back illegals to vote in the 2016 election . Democrats never leave or die. I suspect They will be circling hell around the edges like they do Washington DC . He is a prison bird that found a female as evil as him . Whose family had money to marry.
A close look shows he is the male equivalent of AOC and Jasmine C. Intelligence is not a word related to Beto
Americans are waking. Slowly but finally to the real democrats. Not the Yadda Yadda ! All of which hate Americans and will do anything to keep power. So they can insure. As Margaret Sanger said. That no black will be left in America. Keeping their murder and propaganda machines alive.
It’s amazing how slow people have been. But the sleeping giant is waking to the stark reality of the putrid vile evil world of democrats. So Beto plz go into the dark never to arise again. How many times have you tried to win? And lost every time ? I suspect with The onset of removing illegals from America. Beto is losing his base . I apologize to all Legal Americans that Beto and Jasmine C and the Bush Family hail from Texas. If abortions were to stop Maybe the quality of Americans would get better .
I am convinced that any and all things “woke” have been conjured up by 6-year old idiots who still haven’t been potty trained. I just don’t understand why anyone would bother to listen to them. There is a reason for the old saying of “children should be seen and not heard.”
Why is that idiot even relative anymore. Who gives a rat’s ass what he says or thinks.
LOL, that should read relevant!
Sounds like he’s left his tampon in too long.
Once a dumbass…always a dumbass! So glad people saw thru him when running for ANY seat in the government! But…the coloring room is still open for BEANO and his unicorn! How freaking childish is this grown ass man who acts like a 12 year old! BEANO, your glass house is built on a rocky foundation and we are not above throwing stones at your glass house.