Maryland Governor Wes Moore has launched a bold new crackdown on crime, which experts describe as less a policy and more a school play with costumes, sources have confirmed.
“Look everyone, I’m fighting crime!”
Moore shouted while waving a glitter-covered chart, reportedly created during arts-and-crafts hour.
Insiders say his sudden concern appeared only after President Trump threatened to send in the National Guard, prompting Moore to stage public safety like a talent show act performed for extra credit.
According to aides, the governor’s new plan includes handing criminals participation ribbons, a pledge to “really mean it this time,” and mandatory drum circles to “heal community vibes.”
One staffer admitted the entire strategy was drawn up on poster board with scented markers.
Progressive allies cheered the initiative.
“This is policing for the 21st century,” said one strategist.
“It requires no arrests, no consequences, just positive energy and free yoga mats.”
Trump, unimpressed, compared the move to “a kid cleaning his room only when Dad’s coming upstairs.”
As of press time, Moore was reportedly building a crime-free Baltimore entirely out of cardboard forts, glitter glue, and taxpayer-funded imagination.
Not surprising considering what a shithole Baltimore is.
Some people have been trapped in Fantasy Land – everything about them is fake. They are in dire need of a giant dope-slap in order to wake up to reality.
This happens when people simply give over their rights.
Black people never ask any questions ! In all honesty a lot of whites don’t either
Like . Why is it that . Every black politician is always setting you up for murder By their bad agendas / illegals /laws or simply . Why they use you to climb the ladder. Ask ? Why they all have money/become rich when they become a politician.