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Home U.S. News

Wokest of Woke Boycott Home Depot, Claim Paint Swatches Too Triggering

Joe King by Joe King
September 1, 2025
in U.S. News
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The woke left has officially declared war on Home Depot, sources have confirmed.

Sure, activists point to ICE raids in the parking lot, but the real unforgivable sin is the paint department — where patriotic colors glare down from the shelves like an unrelenting assault on their delicate sensibilities.



And to make matters worse, Home Depot didn’t even throw itself in front of the ICE vans to prove its loyalty to the cause

According to protest leaders, the red, white, and blue paint swatches are “dog whistles of systemic nationalism.”

Organizers claim that even a casual stroll through the paint aisle “feels like being smothered by the 4th of July while bald eagles scream the Pledge of Allegiance in your ear.”

In response, they’ve demanded the removal of patriotic hues and proposed new, more “inclusive” shades like My Feelings Matter Beige, Safe Space Sage, and Anti-Oppression Teal.

The boycott manifesto also calls for Home Depot to rebrand its lumber section into a “sanctuary zone,” where wood planks will be replaced with recycled cardboard infused with social justice slogans. Customers shopping for nails or screws would instead be offered pamphlets on “deconstructing toxic carpentry.”

While Home Depot has yet to respond, insiders report corporate leadership is quietly considering a new product line of hammers that cry on impact.

Unconfirmed reports suggest the company may even relocate future stores to places “with less screeching per square mile.”

One anonymous insider allegedly said, “Fine, we’ll pack up our orange aprons, our lumber, and our discount mulch, and let the tantrum crowd build their own birdhouses with feelings instead of nails.”

Ironically, the same officials trying to chase Home Depot out then turned around and demanded the retailer stay, bring jobs, and also sign a pledge to be “morally complicit” with their political agenda.

A confused contractor sipping coffee outside the store summed it up: “Since when does a place that sells toilets and two-by-fours have to take a side in your culture war?”

As of press time, council members were seen picketing the lighting section, accusing LED bulbs of having ‘privilege-level brightness.’

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Comments 7

  1. Helen Sanders says:
    2 months ago

    And to think that UPS hired the CEO from Home Depot, who they fired. This is why UPS is going down hill from where it was before hiring her. She needs to go to save UPS from failure.

    Reply
  2. Deborah Fugit says:
    2 months ago

    Leave Hime Depit alone you can go to a toy store if you want play things !

    Reply
  3. Darby O'Gill says:
    2 months ago

    Leftist lunatics don’t build…..they destroy. There isn’t one of them over the mental age of 10. (no offense to our ten year olds). They vote for anyone who promises to give them more stuff. They think moral fiber is an ingredient in cereal to keep them regular. When given truthful information on any topic they have panic attacks. The main reason that most of them are atheists is their adherence to their rule, ” you’re not the boss of me”.
    All are free to add to my list. :o)

    Reply
  4. GSM says:
    2 months ago

    First off . Those that are woke are normally too fragile to know what to do with a hammer .Paid protestors are the scum of the earth and must be treated as such . Since they did not learn a skill except protesting and how to drop their drawers . Most of Americans who read these articles on the net would think there is only 2 kinds of Americans ! But woke people are perverts or morons . Plus Who support the illegals continued crimes upon other Americans .Remember ICE only removed the criminals from HP . Those who are the worst of the worst .
    They forget that 3/4 of our population voted for these removals of every illegal in this country ! And it’s not a Trump thing it’s an American thing we voted for this to happen. And 3/4 do have a voice !
    And now it appears that the judges who let these people back out on us to continue the murder and rape of our countries resources and people . Should be rounded up with them as well Think about that ! Illegals took the jobs away from Americans that used to be held by Americans in construction . Illegals were given business loans to create said construction companies as well. Look around let your brain sink in to all those work vehicles in the parking lots with their names on them ! That’s why they are in HP . Our politicians would have you believe We won’t work . But in fact We still do . We are not the woke . But those that are the ones whose backs illegals are put upon While they gave our jobs to illegals. And we want our jobs back without the cheap labor . And yes those woke among us To also actually have to work. Stats report that 90% if protesters are on government assistance Thats how they can be robbing and screaming to kill . No job time on hands to act like morons .
    Have no fear HP ! Americans who do know what to do with your products are still here. And it’s time you cater to only Americans.

    Reply
  5. Paula says:
    2 months ago

    Why don’t they go and get jobs and stop worrying about stuff that just doesn’t matter to sane people.

    Reply
  6. Bill says:
    2 months ago

    Cut off the woke folk from their free welfare money and Soros funding.
    Work or starve, no place in our capitalist system
    for you. You’re not wanted!!!!!

    Reply
    • GSM says:
      2 months ago

      It’s the woke people who live in welfare. How do I know.?
      Those who hold jobs are expected to be there everyday.
      If we could get paid protesting. I would take time to protest the idiots who are destroying their own country
      Protesting with our enemies for our enemies against Americans. Making America ready for the takeover by China

      Reply

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