Courtroom Safe Space Features Emotional Support Dummies and Sluggish Snails for Weepy Russiagate Crew
The FBI is reportedly opening a state-of-the-art “Emotional Support Wing” for indicted Russiagate figures, complete with bean bag chairs, adult...
Mamdani Refuses to Pay Market Rent, Karl Marx Statue Joins Fight by Lobbing Fair-Trade Scones at Luxury Condos
While most New Yorkers agree housing should be affordable, mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani says rent should be replaced with “a...
Newsom Adds 5 Seats to No-Cal Politician Safe Room, Throws in Therapy Goats for Maximum Comfort
Governor Gavin Newsom today unveiled a 5-seat expansion to California’s taxpayer-funded No-Cal Politician Safe Room, a plush retreat for elected...
Sheriff Busted Running 420-Friendly Airbnb for Democrats Recovering From the Trauma of Being Told ‘No’
Authorities have uncovered what they call the “Mar-a-Lago of marijuana hideouts” for whiny far-left leaders avoiding accountability, sources have confirmed....
Trump Defies Mamdani’s Woke Nightmare with MAGA Sauce Drops
NYC’s socialist showboat Zohran Mamdani vows to make President Trump’s life a pillow-strewn nightmare, sources have confirmed. Councilman Zohran Mamdani,...
Newsom Begs Seagull for Backup as Texas Waits for the “Punch”
California’s Newsom threatens to brawl Texas over redistricting, sources have confirmed. In a laughable tantrum, Governor Gavin Newsom, decked out...
Texas Dems Bolt to Chicago, Demand Binkies and Nap Time
Democrats are fleeing Texas for Chicago like spoiled kids ditching a timeout, sources have confirmed. In a spectacle of pure,...
McRib of the Gridiron: Brady Teases Return, Patriots Fans Already Crying
Tom Brady Hints at Unretirement—Again, Sources Have Confirmed Just when you thought your fantasy team was safe and the NFL...
American Eagle’s Denim ‘Sin’ Triggers Leftists, Sweeney Crowned Freedom’s Queen
Sydney Sweeney’s jeans ad has the woke mob spiraling into their oat milk lattes, and Calvin Klein’s cashing in on...
From Slur to Absurd: Biden’s Diversity Speech Flops!
Trump Slams Biden’s Slurry Speech on ‘Diverse’ Judges, Sources Have Confirmed Former President Biden’s latest mumbling marathon, touting his “demographically...
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