Election Bumped Up to April to Ensure Both Elderly Candidates Still Alive
In a stunning move that garnered bipartisan support, emergency legislature passed last last night that would bump the 2024 U.S....
Biden Sneaks Israel a Few Million Bucks Out the Window While No One’s Looking
Last night during the highly rated 66th Annual Grammy Awards ceremony, President Joe Biden reportedly kicked Israel a couple of...
Here’s Why It’s Over for Donald Tru – Ah Shit, Nevermind
In case you missed the news over the weekend, Donald Trump absolutely roasted his chances in the upcoming election by...
White House Announces Next Press Secretary Will Be So Gay You Won’t Even Believe It
WASHINGTON — The White House issued a statement today informing the public that when the time comes to pick current...
Democrats Remind Young Voters How Important It Is To Get Out and Vote for Them
WASHINGTON — As the new year dawns and the Presidential election draws closer, prominent Democrats have begun reminding young voters...
Depressed Ron DeSantis Spotted Running for President of Local Bowling League
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Following his disastrous and widely mocked campaign for President of the United States, a disheveled and unshaved...
Troubling Reports Surface that White House Aides Keep Watching ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’
WASHINGTON — Disturbing rumors continue to circulate that White House aides are repeatedly watching Weekend at Bernie’s, the 1989 film...
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