Following years of successful Shark Week programming on the Discovery Channel, the titular sharks have reportedly grown greedy and now require an entire month, hostages being held at Discovery Channel headquarters have confirmed.
“This is insane, I don’t know how the sharks are doing any of this,” said David Zaslav, CEO of Warner Bros Discovery. “They walked into my office with automatic weapons and tied all of us up. Then they spoke perfect English and said we had to give them a whole month, or else we would all get it. What am I supposed to do? That’s too much content!”
Fans of Shark Week were delighted to hear about the possible increase to the annual event.
“Whoa, they’re gonna do a Shark Month?” said local Shark Week fan Eric Newman. “That sounds awesome. I can’t wait. Everyone else seems to get their own month these days, so why not the sharks? I just hope no one has to get hurt for them to get their way. Still, though, you have to respect the hustle those sharks are showing.”
As of press time, the sharks were also requesting guest appearances on an upcoming episode of Shark Tank.
