U.S. News

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Hunter Biden reportedly announced plans for a triumphant return to the art world this week, sending the...

DETROIT, MI — America’s political commentariat reportedly abandoned elections, inflation, foreign policy, and every other issue Tuesday after discovering Kamala...

PITTSBURGH, PA — Former college quarterback Phil Jurkovec reportedly entered a brief but intense “glory days” relapse last week after...

PLAINFIELD, IL — Plainfield police reportedly prevented the largest coordinated toilet-paper offensive in suburban history after seizing 650 rolls believed...

NEW YORK, NY — America’s cable-news industry reportedly unveiled a revolutionary journalism standard Monday requiring reporters to investigate every side...

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Hollywood’s political elite reportedly gathered this week to solemnly defend the Constitution before realizing halfway through the...

SEATTLE, WA — Macklemore reportedly began frantically searching storage units for his infamous old prosthetic nose after losing his Ed...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Children’s television entered its “mandatory celebrity politics” era Thursday after Ms. Rachel pledged $1 million to Palestinian...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congress reportedly learned Anthropic had given artificial intelligence access to a wet lab Tuesday, prompting lawmakers to...

HOLLYWOOD, CA — American Idol reportedly packed its microphones, golden tickets, and remaining functional extension cords for Georgia this week...