The Drug Enforcement Administration announced earlier this week that it would reclassify marijuana on a federal level soon, declaring it okay to use on the weekends and after work, as long as you don’t have a bunch of shit to do, sources have confirmed.
“This is probably long overdue,” said Anne Milgram, Administrator of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration. “For too long we let pot be stigmatized among harder, more addictive drugs. The truth is, if you don’t have anywhere to be, and your kids are gone or up in their rooms, it’s okay to puff a vape pen before you watch the big game. Let’s all be reasonable adults here, okay?”
Despite its upcoming reclassification, many still believe marijuana to be among society’s greater ills.
“Sure, no one is going to overdose and die,” said local alcoholic Lou Rucker. “But I’m worried about the community. I don’t want my street to become the parking lot of a Phish concert every weekend, you know what I mean? Among other things, I’m worried these potheads aren’t gonna jump out of the way quick enough when I’m driving home from the bar. That stuff makes you ”
As of press time, the DEA also hinted that it will soon be perfectly legal for citizens to take hallucinogens before a fireworks show or going into a drive-thru car wash.
DEA employees used to take coffee breaks. Now they take whacky tobacky breaks.
Kamell toe always tokes a doob or two to relax and buff and polish shiff and shummer nobs.
Kameltoe Hairless is one not to be trusted. She’ll smoke with you and then smoke you. Don’t forget there are still pin California in jail over pot, that she jailed.
So what? Kamella toe sucks and blows, how can that be all bad?
So what? Kamella toe sucks and blows, how can that be all bad?