Yesterday’s earthquake, which struck most of New Jersey, reportedly impressed the local organized crime syndicates with the effective manner in which it able to shake down the entire state at once, sources confirmed.
“You guys see that,” asked “Fat” Dom Mulcetti, a local contractor and rumored mob boss. “They had this whole neighborhood so scared they didn’t know what to do. A job like that normally would take us a few hours of doing door-to-door and threatening everybody. That’s a hell of an operation they got goin’ on here. We ought to get this earthquake working for us.”
The earthquake, which registered a 4.8 on the Richter scale, struck around 10:20 a.m. local time.
“Definitely wasn’t my typical day, but even a typical day in New Jersey is pretty insane,” said longtime Newark resident Anthony Bernardi. “We root for the Jets and aren’t allowed to pump our own gas out here. What passes as normal for us would shock most respectable Americans. You gotta watch your back out here, too. If it ain’t the local hoods trying to shake you down, apparently we gotta worry about earthquakes now. This rumor that they’re going to start working together could spell big trouble for a lot of us honest folks in New Jersey, that’s for sure.”
As of press time, yesterday’s Earthquake had been given a job as a foreman at a local construction site.
Maybe we all should consider the power of God and that what He said in the Bible will come to pass.We should all live ready to meet Him